Monday, August 16, 2004

Monday Madness

Today's meme, for your pleasure, courtesy of Otto at Monday Madness.

1. If you could only take one item with you on to a deserted island what book, movie, music would you take? The Lord of the Rings, including appendices.
2. What's the most disgusting thing that you have ever eaten or even just put in your mouth?? Probably grubs, alive, alive-o!
3. What one thing would you do differently if given the chance? Sorry folks, my regrets are way too many to be addressed in a meme.
4. What political party, if any, do you belong to? Republican
5. Do you like icees? Yes, indeedy. Black Cherry syrup is the best, don't you agree?
6. East or West? And here I thought that never the twain shall meet ... but I think I'd head West from here. If I headed East, I'd be in for a long swim in about 40 miles.
7. Will we ever "all" be happy with the current political situation???? Seriously, not until there is a prolonged, exterior, extreme threat. Then we might stand a chance at equanimity; not before.
8. Cookies or Crackers? Crackers, of course. Was it even a choice?
9. What fun thing did you do today? Not a thing, so far.
...and #10 has nothing to do with any of the above questions.........

10. Why?? George, is that you?

Many moons ago, I was a night watchman /custodian at a Sheraton Convotel™ in Burlington, Vermont. There was a patient up on the third floor in lockdown (dementia ward) who would drive all and sundry nuts with that very same plaintive query. Until this wiseass, twenty-something would come by on his rounds to hit the simplex station outside of the stairwell across the hall from his room. Then, out of the darkness, using my best Vox Deus (Voice of God, for the heathens amongst you - you know who you are) I would offer various rejoinders which would usually silence George, sometimes for as much as five minutes.

"Why not."

"Because."

"It was inevitable," didn't work as well.

I lost track of George after I left that job until one evening, as I worked Receiving at the hospital morgue, in rolled George on a gurney. Seems he managed to get out of his restraints, off the dementia ward and to the roof, undetected. It appears he sought his answer via a swan dive from forty feet up. His remains were there for autopsy.

Cause of death was impact with the ground at terminal velocity. Proximate cause was a tumor in the right parietal area.

I guess he really did have cause for asking "why?", after all.

Bug Me Not

How often do you find yourself pursuing a bit of news of interest, only to be confronted by the need to fill out a long, nosy form needed to register for a particular web site, e.g., www.nytimes.com, for instance?

It happens to me often, as I browse around 50 news sources every day. It has gotten so bad that you have to be registered to leave a comment on blogs.

There is now a way around this for many of those sites requiring lengthy registrations, only to discover the news article was less than stellar, after all. Check out
bugmenot.com - just enter the URL of the offending site. If it's in the database, you'll get a plain vanilla user id and password to use to bypass registration. We're not talking about bypassing pay site registrations -- we are talking about the myriad small potatoes sites that insist on conducting their market research before you've even set sight on their wares. Give it a try -- add it to your browser's task bar shortcuts and you always have it handy.

Thanks to my favorite
crabby old lady, for pointing this one out in her blog first.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

'A Bit of Music'

It appears that The Sunday Brunch is like most things in the western world in the month of August: on vacation. So I'm substituting the Weekly Bit this week as fodder for the Snooze.

Nothing much happening at home to write about. SWMBO is recovering from four, 12-hour workdays in 90°+ temps on the skilled unit (no airconditioning) by sleeping through the Olympics on the couch. The see-saw weather of lows and rain one day, followed by overcast the next, has put me into eight-hours-a-day sleep mode. That's practically unheard of since my surgery.

So this week's meme for Sunday is about music. Copy the questions for yourself and post a link here and over at the weekly bits, too.


'A Bit of Music'

1. What kind of music do you listen to? Mostly, a mix of jazz, blues, new age, bluegrass and classical, with a little classic rock from the sixties and seventies mixed in.

2. Who is your favorite music artist? If we are talking an individual, then it is a toss-up between Leonard Cohen and Willy Nelson, with Lyle Lovett a close second. If we mean group, then Jethro Tull holds that place in my heart, while my favorite female artist is Joni Mitchell.

3. How has your taste in music changed over the years? For a long time when a teenager, folk music dominated my life. Then came rock, particularly the acid rock of the late 60's / early 70's. Perhaps in reaction to all that noise, from the mid-70's through the 90's I listened to classical music most often, with jazz a staple late night companion. Now its an eclectic mix, when I listen at all. Silence has become something I appreciate more and more.

4. What is your favorite song? "Spring of '65" by the Holy Modal Rounders (Rounder Records, I think).

5. What song do you think is just plain annoying? Sadly, I'm just not into Rap or Hip-Hop. From where I sit, rocking in my chair on the sun porch of life, they're just plain wrong... all of them.

extra...
If you could write a song about your life what would you title it? What style of music would it be? country? rap? ballad? etc. How about "The Ballad of a Quiet Man," written by Leonard Cohen and covered by Willy Nelson in that inimitatable 'Texas Twang' and steel string guitar picking, with Joni Mitchell and Nora Jones doing the chorous?

That's the news from La Casa del Locos, where all the grandchildren are exceptional, and the sex is a non-stop delight.

Have a good week, folks, and remember: be careful out there... the life you save may be your own.


Monday, August 09, 2004

Monday Madness

A potpourri of questions from the Monday Madness meme spot.

1. What's "it" all about, anyway?
I haven't a clue -- I thought the answer was 42.
2. What radical political ideas do you have, if any?
Politicians should be held responsible for what they say and do. Particularly when campaigning for office.
3. Do you believe that you 'fit' the profile of your astrological star sign?
Sadly, it is closer than I like to admit. Weak sidereal gravitational fields and seasonal influences should not have any impact on a growing fetus whatsoever.
4. Will blogging survive 2005 or is it a fad?
It is a fad for approximately 40% {my best guesstimate} of those who undertake it beyond the two or three entry wonders from pubescent teens.
5. Do you Ebay? If so, what and how often? Is it a full-time job, part-time hobby, or just to clear the junk from your house? I buy things on eBay; I've only sold one thing so far, more houseclearing to come.
6. True or False: When I vote, I am all for one party. False
7. Meat or veggie sauce on your spaghetti? Meat
8. Would you ever be on a TV Reality Show? Not until they have a geriatric version of Survivor, Survivor-Nursing Home Wars! I might do it then.
9. What is one thing (or place) that you would like to do (or see) that you have not yet done (or seen?) I'd like to visit China, view the Great Wall, Beijing, the northwestern provinces. I'd also like to visit Australia, New Zealand and Patagonia before I die.
10. Do you answer memes honestly? I try to. Don't you?

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Signs of Senility

Did you ever start out to write an entry and get lost somewhere along the way?
I did today. I lost focus, couldn't make the materiel work regardless of how I massaged it.
I gave up.
The only line worth a bucket of spit was:

Thump, thump and it's all over ... Dead bicyclist.




The basis for the entry was this Portland Press Herald story.

See you later. The Mrs. and I are off to an outdoor art show on Saturday. I'll try for some pics for y'all.

wil


Monday, July 26, 2004

A Little Intro ...

Welcome to the Daily Snooze -- my new Blogger.com blog. The Daily Snooze has been in existence for about a year over at AOL's Journals community and you can get read the archives there(use the link) to get a feel for who and what I am. This site will be a mirror of the one at AOL for a while before becoming my regular site sometime in the Fall of 2004. I look forward to meeting and greeting this new community and hopefully ending the access problems involved with AOL Journals for non-AOL members.

Bloglines | My Blogs

Convention Bloggers Aggregation Site

In case you don't read John Scalzi, up there's a great location to read what the Bloggers are saying from the Democratic National Convention. Give it a try.

Wild Cats And Colleens

Wild Cats And Colleens


O Sweet Mother Ireland, now where have ye gone?

You've left and abandoned your poor weeping son

You cooked bacon and spuds in your own modest way

We laughed and we cried, oh yes, many's the day



Now you're in the ground and all covered in earth

Your rosary beads, they are wrapped round your girth

Once you were alive wearing diamonds and pearls

At seventy-six, still a helluva girl!



You were Mother Ireland, my own mammy too

There'll ne'er be another will ever match you

With your tidy red hair all tied up in a bun

Oh how I miss you -- your desolate son.

© 2001 Morag Prunty

Morag Prunty. Now there's a name to conjure with, isn't it? Morag Prunty is the author of three published novels, Painted Arrows, Disco Daddy and Dancing With Mules (renamed Wild Cats and Colleens: A Novel by her American publisher, HarperCollins Publishers).

I'm reading her first novel, Dancing with Mules, hereinafter shortened to Colleens. Set in Dublin and New York City, it's a romantic comedy inspired by the current crop of reality shows on TV. "Irish-American Billionaire seeks bright, beautiful, independent, but, above all, Irish wife. Please send photo and three-hundred-word essay about yourself to P.O. Box NY 14786. Looking for genuine love. No time-wasting money-grabbers please."

Hilarity ensues.

I am getting a real kick out of this book. The POV is most definitely Irish. She has excellent characterization skills -- you understand where her people are coming from and why. Her narrative could use a little punching up, but that's an editorial fault as much as anything.

Based upon my reading the first quarter of Colleens, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend picking up any of her books and giving them a whack -- you'll be glad you did.

Oh. That poem up there? The satirical lyrics to an imaginary Country-Western Dirge by an even more imaginary Irish band written and performed at the behest of the billionaire in memory of his mother. Really. I will go to hell for failing to obtain permision to use it, except it's the start of Chapter 4, so in that sense, it's an excerpt under the "Fair Use Doctrine." Still, it's so gag-me-with-a-spoon, don't you think?



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Friday, January 16, 2004

Polly wants a duvet!

Friday, January 16, 2004
4:50:00 AM EST
A refreshing change...

I know - you're bored with me kvetching about how cold it is. I am too. So here's a breath of fresh air that came to my email box this morning:

Dear List Subscriber,

During the recent change-over of our Web sites, a security breach occurred by accident. In normal operation external mail connections are prevented to the Woodtips email list. However, during the change, a mistake in firewall rules meant external mail was let in to the list.

Some external mail sent to the list contained copies of a worm virus.
During the few hours the breach occurred, our Woodtips email list was
exposed. This incident was confined to a problem with our mail list.

We have prevented the continuation of the virus by closing the security
breach and removing any further out going infected emails from our system. We advise that you do not open any emails that contain unknown attachments.

We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the incident.

Sincerely,
Anne Smith
Internet Marketing Manager
Shopsmith, Inc.

Way to go, Shopsmith. A mistake is made in Corporate America and they actually took responsibility, explained how it happened and apologized. Now why couldn't Worldcom, Enron, even big brother, AOL do that?

BTW, -18° at 5:00 AM. Shiver me timbers, Aargh! Polly wants a duvet!

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Brrrrr.....

Thursday, January 15, 2004
7:45:00 AM EST
Feeling Chillin'
Hearing Ice Age soundtrack




Water pipes are frozen and busted, requiring the complete shut-off of water to keep cellar from becoming an indoor rink with no headroom. Feral kitties simply perch on highest objects to be found in cellar and glare. Willow the Wonder Dog minces across the icy drive way to the fecal repository, turns, raises one paw in a bid for pity from her cruel master who makes her use the outdoor facilities and then glares while she freezes her nipples off. SWMBO glares at the lack of a functional toilet & shower and supreme injustice of luring her away from Louisiana. It's cold folks, and no respite on the immediate horizon. Hope yours is a warmer, happier life today.

I awoke to the following cheery broadcast from the National Weather Bureau:

Wind chill warning through Friday morning.
Today
. Mostly sunny. Highs near zero. Northwest winds 10 to 15 mph. Wind chill readings 35 to 40 below zero.

Tonight. Mostly clear. Lows 13 to 18 below. Northwest winds 5 to 15 mph. Wind chill readings 35 to 45 below zero.

Friday. Becoming mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of light snow. Brisk. Highs 10 to 15. Northwest winds 10 to 15 mph increasing to 15 to 25 mph in the afternoon. Gusts up to 40 mph. Wind chill readings 35 to 40 below zero in the morning.

P.S. It was -16°F when I went out to start the car this morning.



Good God That is freakin cold!!!!! where do you live? Antacrtica? Brrrrrrrr.. Im cold just thinkin about it!!!! lol
Comment from areochic99 - 5/15/04 8:26 PM

Now THAT'S cold. The boogers in my nose are freezing just at the idea!

Comment from andreakingme - 1/15/04 3:34 PM

man, glad i live in wisconsin... compared to you, i'm in the tropics! okay,thats a definite exaggeration, but hey... your journal's fun to read and i know i like getting comments left from visitors.
Comment from brianswife7378 - 1/15/04 9:58 AM

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Welcome To My Deep Freeze

Tuesday, January 13, 2004
11:54:00 PM EST


The northern third of the U.S. extending from Minnesota and the Dakotas east to little old Maine and south as far as Connecticut is in the metaphorical deep freeze. Tomorrow's forecast calls for actual temps hovering at or below 0° F. for the day's high. Add in the 35 mph wind with gusts to 50 and that gives us a wind chill forcast of -60° F, predicted to last right through Friday morning.

To put it in real terms you can get your mind around, an egg cracked onto the sidewalk will be frozen solid inside of 20 seconds under those conditions. Here at La Casa Loca, it'll take a 5 gallon can of kerosene for each of three stoves to maintain an internal temperature at or above 60° -- that's $30 per day for heat. For under 1000 sq.ft of living area - only 4 rooms including the bathroom. THAT is just one of the many downside issues of living in a pre-civil war era house.

So welcome to my deep freeze. As the temperature drops below -25° outside, so too does it drop inside - at a rate of one for one. When it's at -30° outside it'll be 55° inside. And downward it will spiral. Makes one long for the deserts of Arizona and New Mexico this time of year...

Stay warm friends. Beware of carbon monoxide poisoning and may those of you sharing this gift of coolth from Canada stay as warm as you desire.


This entry has 2 comments:
Ah yes, but I remember freezing my patooties off on Fisherman's Wharf with an air temp of 58° and a breeze off the Bay..... it's all relative. Just bit more relative in your direction at the moment ;)

Comment from olddog299 - 1/15/04 7:49 AM

now i know why i still live in california .. i cant take anything less than 72 degrees inside or 55 degrees OUTSIDE lol
its just unnatural :)
pamela
Comment from his1desire - 1/14/04 8:00 AM

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Cold Feet

Saturday, January 10, 2004
10:18:00 AM EST
Hearing James Taylor - Greatest Hits (1982 version)


Mood: Foul

My feet are cold. Not a little cold but somewhere around frozen. Stove went out in the cellar this morning about 6 AM and it wasn't noted until my wife's bare feet froze to the bathroom floor after stepping out of the shower (they were dry when she went in so she didn't freeze to the floor then, silly).

I know and sympathize with all of us that are cold today but this is ridiculous in the extremities: it's -10°F with a +20 mph breeze blowing out there and the temp at floor level is an icy 23° while at waist level the room temp is 70°. I need to move to Iceland. At least there the floors are warm!



Written by olddog299 . Link to this entry | Blog about this entry | Notify AOL
This entry has 1 comments: (Add your own) Move south!!! It was about 60 today in Georgia!!!!
Comment from karensull12 - 1/12/04 8:23 PM

Friday, January 09, 2004

The Friday Five - According To Andrea

1. What's on your feet right now?

Polypro socks (black) with knit cuffs and Dr. Scholl's knockoffs of Morrell Jungle Mocs

2. What's your mood like at this moment?
Annoyed... The Friday Five is amongst the missing, it's bloody cold outside, hot water is frozen to the tub and I need to shower before going to town. No shower = no town visit as I'd be mistaken for a vagrant, arrested and shipped out on a bus (that's what we do with vagrants - make them someone else's problem).

3. Are you a Pepper?
I used to be a Pepper. Actually, I started out like most kids as a hard Kore Kool Aide Kid, then graduated to ginger ale. Later, as a nerdy teen I was a Fresca. Then came a stint where Coke was Me and I was Coke. The came my term as a Pepper. Followed quickly by a 20 year stint as a Coffee & Bourbon, depending on the time of day. I devolved into just a bourbon for a while there. After rehabbing myself I came back as a Coffee until I became a zipper-chest; then I was demoted to a Decaf, which I am as we look at each other's silliness today.

4. Do you dot your I's with smileys?
Nope. I prefer mascara....

5. What kind of a laugh do you have?
It varies a lot, depending on the situation, mood, etc. Sometimes its a big belly laugh. Very appropriate, as I have a big belly. Often it is sardonic laughter - I have little use for the other monkeys inhabiting this cage. Occasionally its only a chuckle as laughter, while the best medicine, is often viewed as inappropriate at your enemy's funeral. There's the maniacal howl emanating from my study on the night of the full moon. The jackass bray at the inanities of George W. and his handlers. The school boy snicker at a joke at another's expense and there is my favorite, that low, throaty laugh I get when making love to a woman.



Written by olddog299 . Link to this entry | Blog about this entry | Notify AOL
This entry has 3 comments: (Add your own)
    " What's on your feet right now? " gotta tell ya, i'm glad your answer wasn't some kind of fungus lol
    #4 *almost* went over my head .. almost lol so where did YOU learn about mascara anyway? hmmmm?
    pamela

    Comment from his1desire - 1/12/04 8:21 AM

    OK I AM GONNA ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS
    1 NOTHING I AM BARE FOOT.
    2 MY MOOD IS QUIET. A LIL AGRAVATED BUT MAINLY I AM QUIET.
    3 AM I PEPPER, UMM NO ... I DRINK PINK LEMONAID.
    4 NO, I DO NOT. I USUALLY WRITE IN CAPS FOR IT EASIER ON ME TO READ.
    5 LIKE YOU IT DEPENDS. MAINLY A SILLY LAUGH.
    I WILL RETURN BACK TOYOUR JOURNAL ..~BERLY
    Comment from wayoutdacloset - 1/12/04 3:03 AM

    Oh, very well done! This is actually what the Friday Five questions are supposed to do -- to draw the journaler out, to make him talk, to make him share.

    And I predict that no one's going to be able to top your answer to number 3 (Are you a Pepper). It's GREAT! I love it.

    Thanks for sharing, Wil.

    Comment from andreakingme - 1/9/04 4:41 PM

Monday, January 05, 2004

Belated Friday 5

What one thing are you most looking forward to . . .


1. ...today?
Bangers and mash ( that's sausages and potatoes for the illiterati)

2. ...over the next week?
Hoping it'll be slow, weatherwise. Nothing of import scheduled until baby brother's birthday on Jan 18.
3. ...this year?
I'm looking forward to ice-out so I can get back on the water in my kayak this year
4. ...over the next five years?
Just continuing to breathe will be a major accomplishment in the next 5 years. Anything else is gravy.
5. ...for the rest of your life?
See above. Long life is not anticipated.

I apologize for the delayed posting. Not for lack of trying last Friday... but new questions hadn't been posted when I checked around 3AM and haven't been online since, until now. Had to check weather as sound of sleet on the window woke me from an obviously unsound sleep. Had to be sure it 'twernt a blizzard that escaped my ken. According to the Pettybees (PTB's or Powers that Be, in bureaucrateze) we're only expecting 1 to 3 inches of sleet with a heavy icing component. Humph! I'll believe it when I see it. My back throbs at the thought of picking up a 100 lb bag of salt today.

Cheers! May all your champagne dreams come true. Here's hoping you and yours have a happy, safe and prosperous New Year!



Written by olddog299 . Link to this entry | Blog about this entry | Notify AOL
This entry has 5 comments: (Add your own)
A dedicated Friday Fiver! I'm impressed.

Comment from andreakingme - 1/9/04 4:43 PM

I love a good bargain, but don't know of anyone who died from imagining an aching back. You're not having any chest pains or shortness of breath, are you? Any radiating pain down the left arm? Mayhap your back wouldn't throb if you just pick up the 100 lb. bag without thinking. (I just love it when you say "'twernt' and 'escaped my ken.')
Comment from rbushu - 1/7/04 9:35 PM

True, smaller bags could be had, but at a much bigger price. I'm buying it from the wholesaler, Robin. 100 pounds costs the same there as the little 25 pound bags at the grocery or hardware store. Besides, living forever is overrated... ;)

wil

Comment from olddog299 - 1/7/04 12:46 PM

Curmudgeons that frolic and fornicate by the light of the moon are not known to have long life spans. Pack it all in while you can, Old Dog. Buy the salt in 50 pound bags. Not so hard on the throbbing back. Remember to lift from the knees.
Comment from rbushu - 1/5/04 11:19 PM

and a very happy new year to you too !! amazing, if you're breathing, it makes life just that much more enjoyable eh? lol
pamela
Comment from his1desire - 1/5/04 9:00 AM

Monday, December 29, 2003

Vocabulary

I've had a few comments suggesting my vocabulary tends to fly over the cuckoo's head. So for the benefit of all of my erudite readers (all four of you) I share this little gem of a blog entry over at The Primal Purge entitled "Post Coital".

    You can call me erudite or just plain rude. Either way, I'm in. How's the back, Olddog?
    Comment from rbushu - 1/4/04 8:59 PM

Friday, December 26, 2003

Tempus Fugits

Tempus Fugits
by Wil

Phew!

Woke up this morning with a start!

Overslept, I had.

Panicing I am, yup, yup.

To town, lickety split.

Dropped off the anchor,

to toil amid the bone fields.

While I a langorous breakfast took,

surveying news with coffee and cream.

Thence to the druggist with script in hand,

seeking this and that for ills and chills

and rushing pell-mell to the grocery,

to see what's doing there,

paying fat cat canadian power brokers

for the energy that brings this

stinking poem home to you.

The Friday 5 Does 2003

1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year?
Getting out of bed?
2. What was your biggest disappointment?
The day the ATM ate my card...
3. What do you hope the new year brings?
Fewer bills, more checks.
4. Will you be making any New Year's resolutions? If yes, what will they be?
Nope... from past experience I know it is futile.
5. What are your plans for New Year's Eve?
A quiet evening at home with my wife..... if she has to work the next day. Else she'll be off to an orgy and I'll be entertaining my mistress at a fancy hotel in Montreal... NOT!



This entry has 2 comments:
    2003 must have been a most fulfilling year for you :) Cute entry!

    -Emily
    http://journals.aol.com/popitart/cosblog
    Comment from popitart - 12/28/03 10:03 PM

    lol ya know .. i've never made a new years resolution .. not one .. maybe i should make a resolution to make a resolution .. some day .. hmmm .. maybe i'll just put it off till next year when i have more time to think lol
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 12/28/03 8:40 AM

Christmas Hangover

The ringing in my head is gone. Ahh R-E-L-I-E-F spells Rolaids..... Time was, the day after Christmas was a head pounding, body aching, stomach churning event to be avoided at all costs if there was an inch or ten of whiskey left in the bottle. Now, we venture forth all alone, unbuttressed by ethyl alcohol, and STILL manage to slip on the ice and fall on our butts! What's up with that, anyway?

The bells, the bells... that is, the Salvation Army solicitors have packed up their buckets and bells for another year. All stores were closed here save convenience stores under 1500 s.f. (part of Maine's "Blue Laws") so traffic into town on Christmas Day was nil. Not so in the evening - seemed like everyone just HAD to go to the movies, or Grandma's, or out to eat. For a major State and National holiday, as well as a seemingly major event in the lives of those who participate in the dominant religion hereabouts, there sure was a bargeload of traffic for a non-work day.

On the road this morning I came swooping along in the snow flurries and flew over a hill and into a valley and Whoopsadaisy!!!! there was no traction left as I slid across the culvert and up the other side. As fast as you can say "Bob's your Uncle," little one, I was back onto wet pavement and fishtailing along as the traction had returned with a vengance. Once we'd managed to remove the seat covers from our bottoms and slowed for the stop sign onto the main road, it was "No hassles, mon," all the way into Bangor. This little bit of snow flurry has covered all of the ugliness exposed by the inch of rain and snow-eating fog of gargantuan proportions which consumed us on Christmas Day. The cellar has about 4 inches of water (nature abhors a vacuum, don'tcha know, and what else is a cellar but a stormwater collection basin to Mother Nature?) so the feral kitties (aka "The Dirty Dozen") are all huddled on the porch for warmth in a vain attempt at staying dry. Willow-the-Wonder-Dog daintily minces through the mud in the dooryard to the old snowbanks left by plowing to make her deposit on the "Universal Excrement Exchange Formerly Known As A Lawn."

That's life down here on the funny farm. Hope Santa fulfilled your wishes whilst he emptied your pocketbook. And may all your spirits be on ice!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Merry Christmas

Sorry I haven't blogged lately. Nothing new here that hasn't been covered in the evening news. I do wish one and all a hearty Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year. May all your dreams come true in the fullness of time.
If you are feeling extra specially charitable, the Derosset Family lost their home and pets to fire last weekend. Visit the web site and make a donation, eh?

This entry has 2 comments:
    Merry Christmas wil !! i feel bad for anyone who experiences a great loss .. especialy during the holidays .. i understand her community is really coming through for them and i think its awesome that a few aol journalers have created a way for the journal community to help out too
    my best to you wil
    your friend
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 12/25/03 9:13 AM

    Merry Christmas to you! I'm killin' time waiting for the family to be ready for 10:30 candlelight service and have stumbled upon your journal... I'll be back!

    ~ Karyn
    Comment from karynetaylor - 12/24/03 9:06 PM

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Take The Test

Get over to 'That Happy Chica's' Journal and take the referenced political spectrum test

Bah Humbug!

Too much snow to shop - back is out and the plow truck is still down. Computer decided it couldn't find the AOL dialer so have been incommunicado until I managed to fire up an old copy of AOL 8 which doesn't make use of the dialer. More to come but off to bed - 5 AM comes way too early when you have to shovel snow to get the car out of the drive. Ciao!

This entry has 1 comments:
    wil .. my daughters computer is having the same issues with 9.0 so we have to use 8.0 .. not sure what is up with that but it sure is frustrating
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 12/17/03 8:19 AM

Friday, December 12, 2003

Christmas Decorations For Light Days

Tampon Angel Pattern - make your own Christmas angels using tampons, talk about a feminine touch! Plus it gives the recently menopausal something to do with that box of leftovers.

A Special Gift For The Guy On Your List

At a loss for suitable gifts for those redneck cousins? Something for Uncle Cletus, perhaps? Get what every guy needs, the Underwear Repair Kit ... You'll be glad you did!

This entry has 1 comments:
    Hey olddog we might be redneck cousins, but we don't have to shovel snow. Its short sleeve weather down here in Texas. Like your journal. Paula
    Comment from plieck30 - 12/27/03 9:03 PM
The Friday Five

1. Do you enjoy the cold weather and snow for the holidays? While it often seems like it wouldn't be Christmas without snow and frost bitten nose, toes and fingers, the fact is, I could really do without the winter weather.

2. What is your ideal holiday celebration? How, where, with whom would you celebrate to make things perfect?
My ideal holiday celebration would involve swim suits, scuba tanks, Jamaican Rum and hot women. I'll settle for ersatz eggnog at home with my wife as we toast our toes on the kerosene stove.

3. Do you do have any holiday traditions?
Nope, other than only 1 in 5 years sees us with the desire to put up a tree. All of our children and grandchildren live so far away that we rarely bother decorating.

4. Do you do anything to help the needy?
What do you mean? I AM needy.

5. What one gift would you like for yourself?
World Peace. No, really. Just once in my lifetime I'd like to go to sleep without war or the specter of impending nuclear doom hovering over our heads.

This entry has 1 comments:
    #1 -- i can so relate .. christmas isn't the same without the snow .. even though i hate the cold !! my son, in hawaii, is still surfing .. something about THAT just isn't right !!
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 12/12/03 9:08 AM

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Christmas in Australia

Christmas in Australia

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oy, Oy, Oy! Christmas in Oz is often a joy. Take the the Aussie version of "Jingle Bells" fer instance:

Dashing through the bush,
in a rusty Holden Ute,
Kicking up the dust,
esky in the boot,
Kelpie by my side,
singing Christmas songs,
It's Summer time and I am in
my singlet, shorts and thongs

Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,
Christmas in Australia
on a scorching summers day, Hey!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas time is beaut!,
Oh what fun it is to ride in a rusty Holden Ute.

Mayhap you wonder what brought this on? It was -5º F. this morning when I got up. Wife complained the seat was solid when she went out to start the car as both of us (me and the car) are slow starters in the morning. Driving her to work I remarked on our "SpongeBob square tires" as we thumped up the hill leaving out of the driveway on tires with Aramid belts which have taken the profile of the ground they rested upon overnight in the cold. On mornings like this, I check out the weather reports of warmer climes, like Western Australia to ease the ache in my bones.

Thanks and a tip of le chapeau to "Lockergnome Windows Fanatics" newsletter which referenced the "Christmas in Australia" site this morning.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

HUMOR: The Doctor

Doctor Joe had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him:


"Joe, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single.Let it go. "


But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality:



"Joe, you're a Vet."

Monday, December 08, 2003

Mother Nature - 1 Snowpooch - 0

Radiator blew on the plow truck. Bah humbug!

The Feline Terminator




What happens when you have

1) nothing to do

2) a sharp knife

3) a large lime

4) a patient cat

5) too much tequila

6) and it's football season?


This entry has 2 comments:
    Make mine a margarita and pass the chips and salsa. I'll watch the game and terrorize the kitty with you.
    Comment from rbushu - 12/11/03 9:17 AM

    ROFL!!!! tehehehe... Oh, that's toooo cute! Patient cat is an understatment in this case, I think. Reminds me of the evil cat from the movie "Cats & Dogs". I love it!
    Comment from slowmotionlife - 12/8/03 7:00 PM

Sunday, December 07, 2003

Saturday Night

Saturday night,

we all got together at the usual place,

like we usually do.

Saturday night,

we tried something different.....

Peanut Butter Bagels and goldfish stew!

From a folk song I heard in 1968 - unsure of the author.

SWMBO* and I spent Saturday night at the local Emergency Room. This is not how I recommend spending that oh so precious night of the weekend. This was the culmination of hours of nagging by the aforementioned significant other as well as my brother and various stepchildren and inlaws/outlaws and the doctor covering for my physician.

By now you may have a suspicion I didn't want to go. You'd be right on the money, Sherlock.

Actually, the problem started on Friday evening. It had been a long day and I was tired by early evening. Upon sitting down to supper I discovered I was having some difficulty with swallowing. My lips didn't want to cooperate on the right side of my face. I figured it was just muscle strain as it felt sort of like I couldn't open my mouth all the way -- like when your jaw is having a cramp, y'know? So, being a guy, I just ignored it and proceeded to stuff my face as best I could, trying hard to minimize the slurping from uncooperative lips.

So I ignored the problem and come Saturday morning I can't get my eye to work as it should on the right side. But there's a blizzard coming and the snowplow has to be fired up and readied to do battle with that nasty white stuff. No mean feat as it hasn't moved from where it was parked after losing its last battle with the tag team of Jack Frost and Mother Nature. Gas needs to be got. Wipers must be found. Battery needs charging. Then comes climbing up into the cavernous engine compartment (it's a 1978 3/4 ton 4X4, 350 c.i. with a 4 barrel Holley) and priming the carburetor as there's a hole in the suction line from the tank to the fuel pump that will necessitate complete removal of the tank to repair - one of those "roundtuit" jobs for another day.

Keep in mind it's 11 degrees and the breeze is blowing. So the fact my eye is drying out doesn't bother me - it's windy, after all. And the stiff neck and pain behind the ear - that's OK, too - must have strained it. Except it turns out that wifey has noted the bloodshot eye and the slack jaw and has been on the phone all morning rousing the (ire of) troops. Coffee break time brings an irate stepdaughter who accuses me of not thinking of her wellbeing - seems that if I croak then she'd have to take care of her mother and she wouldn't want THAT in a million years.

Huh? Where in hell did that come from?

Well, trust me to procrastinate some more until the other half is near frantic enough to pull out all the stops. First, she has my brother threaten me. Then the doctor. So finally, I relent. With 2 inches of snow on the ground and more promised, off to the ER we go, slipping and sliding along merrily. More waiting in the waiting room. At Reception. In the cubicle.

Nurse Jim interrogates me and then opines, "Looks like Bell's Palsey to me." I've been at this job for over a week and that's what I think the Doc will say. Get undressed put this "johnnie" on and wait for him on the bed."

More waiting, this time with my back exposed to the wall. In bounces Tigger, er, Dahwayne, the P.A. "Nurse Jim tells me you are competing for Bell's palsy Poster Boy."

Oh joy. A jokester. "Grrr -- hold still so I can beat you," thinks I. But no, Dahwayne stands there with his full arm and shoulder Eagle tattoo flexing, up and down, as he literally squirms in his scrubs, picture of 30 y.o. health and vitality, intoning how he has been on the job for more than a week (ER catchphrase of the day?) and that there was nothing to be done except keep the eye moist when sleeping with saline eyedrops and a patch taped over the eye. "Things'll resolve themselves in a couple three months or more and that recurrences, er, recur."

Nurse Jim returns, shows me "how to patch up" and tells me to get dressed and "get outta here." No one has examined me. Why the phreak did I have to get undressed in the first place? Oh well. On with the clothes and out the door. White knuckle it home on greasy roads in low visibility. But wife is relieved. I suppose that's worth the aggravation and expense. It's only Bell's palsy, not a stroke or TIA.

Rest In Peace, Frank



Frank Ruiz, 57 of Tampa, Florida and AOL Hometown's Journal On Whining Well was found dead in his apartment on Saturday. He is survived by his two children and a plethora of friends and acquaintances.

Frank was a writer by profession, obsession and trade. He came up in the ranks of the newspaper business. Like all writers, he was working on a novel. Frank was a complicated man and didn't always know right from wrong. People he loved, people who loved him along the way often were badly hurt by his emotional carelessness. Frank was an alcoholic. He came to an understanding of his disease only recently and in some ways he was still in denial.

Above all else, Frank was a mensch -- a human's human. He will be missed.



This entry has 3 comments:
    Like all of us, Frank showed us what he wanted us to know. That was enough for me. He gave us the broad brush strokes, we filled in the details with our imaginations. That way, he was something unique to each of us who read his work. Thank you, Olddog for showing us his face.
    Comment from rbushu - 12/11/03 9:25 AM

    I must agree with all you have said and SloMo's comment as well. He was much more complicated and private than we would have thought.

    Liz
    Comment from lovebluevw - 12/10/03 4:33 PM

    It's funny to me that I continue to learn so much about him after his death. It almost feels a betrayal... he never trusted us with this information, and so it feels wrong to learn them now. Somehow. So sad.

    A human's human... yes. To be imperfect is to be human. None of us are lacking in need of forgiveness or love. I love this entry. Thank you for sharing it.
    Comment from slowmotionlife - 12/8/03 7:05 PM

Ugh! Snow.

Half way through a predicted 60 hour storm. Snow is tapering to flurries as the current band of precipitation passes into memory. Much more on the horizon. There was a solid 18" on the ground, judging by that oh-so-unreliable measure, "Willow the Wonder Wimp", the current doggie possessor of my canine heart. She stands a bit over 26" at the shoulder and was plowing through it above the nipple line when not hopping like a demented hare as she went out to do her "business." The look she gave me when her hoohah hit the white stuff was of the seriously betrayed variety.

They say the winds will begin in earnest any second now. It seems the solid 25 mph, gusting to 35 mph was merely a prelude to what daylight will bring in just an hour or two - steady winds in the 40-plus range with higher gusts. Oh joy. Most things are cancelled. Town plow has blocked the end of the driveway, burying the nose of the car so only the flourescent green alien atop the antenna is visible.

Remind me why I still live in Maine.....


This entry has 1 comments:
    Because it's beautiful there. That's why.
    Comment from rbushu - 12/11/03 9:26 AM

Saturday, November 29, 2003

The Friday Five

1. Do you like to shop? Why or why not? Nope - I avoid it like the plague. I do all of the grocery and most of the household shopping. Aside from a last minute item, most gifts are done online these days as hardly anyone is local.

2. What was the last thing you purchased? 4 - 2 liter Diet Coke (decaffeinated)

3. Do you prefer shopping online or at an actual store? Why?
Online - no pressure.

4. Did you get an allowance as a child? How much was it?
Yep - started at a quarter and worked up from there (it was the '50's and 60's - a quarter bought all the candy one needed for a week)

5. What was the last thing you regret purchasing?
A size large Stohlquist dry suit - I promptly gained enough weight to require an extra large! This was a major purchase and the inability to earn a living now means I won't get to go kayaking in the winter again until I lose weight. And that isn't happening, due to the lack of kayaking.



This entry has 4 comments:
    Andy - the Diet Coke belongs to SWMBO. I drink decaf coffee :) Black. No beer. No booze. No fun ;)

    Comment from olddog299 - 12/5/03 1:44 PM

    Online grocery shopping - if only. Not an option around here, but the Bay area would have the population density necessary to support grocery picking businesses. We're too bloody frugal and independant. An acquaintance attempted such a business here and it died along with the economy. No sign of a recovery here.
    Comment from olddog299 - 12/5/03 1:43 PM

    haha i got you beat on the "hating shopping" !! i've also been known to resort to doing my grocery shopping online !!

    gotta love the internet lol
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 12/2/03 9:27 AM


    Well, Diet Coke drinking man, why not lift weights or work out to Buns of Steel? They work! They do.

    Thanks for playing along.

    Comment from andreakingme - 11/29/03 6:28 PM

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Traditional Thanksgiving

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. It's traditional up here in New England to serve a roast turkey with a bread and chestnut stuffing, squash and corn, if diaries of some of the original Plymouth settlers are to be believed, along with Venison (Bambi, deer, AKA 4 legged garden trolls) but if one were to think about it for too long, late November wouldn't be a New Englander's choice for an outdoor gathering. Indeed, the Canadians probably are closer to right (October) than this National Gluttony Day we have here in the States. And while Mexico is rife with holidays, they find the whole concept of a turkey to be a bit on the weird side. Indeed, when I lived there as a child, the closest we came to a turkey for Thanksgiving was to roast a large peacock! (Don't tell the neighbors -- it was a "kill two birds with one stone" solution to the obnoxious screeches rained upon ones ears from before dawn until after midnight -- the maid 'negotiated' with the gardener next door to obtain the blooming thing in return for the feathers and "other items of value to be determined" -- heheheh.)


Anywho, it is also traditional -- with a small "t" -- for bloggers to declare the thing(s) they are thankful for. While not a long-standing tradition, blogging being only a few years old as an activity embraced by many, its a good one. I'll be giving thanks for my wife. She entered my life only six years ago come December and while there are huge chunks of those years no longer available to memory, the memories that remain are primarily of her. I also give serious thanks for my life. It was only a couple of years ago that I was "dead" on an operating table as surgeons performed open heart surgery. Not something I'd recommend to anyone for grins and giggles, but there was one immediate benefit beyond the restoration of blood flow to my brain and body: a week of morphine made giving up my 35-plus year addiction to cigarettes much easier than it would have been otherwise.

Now, if I could just kick this morphine addiction.....



This entry has 3 comments:
    Nope, not really. But I could have been, easily enough. My preferred poison is alcohol -- I never met a bottle of bourbon I didn't like. Or that I didn't drink, either.
    wil
    Comment from olddog299 - 12/8/03 8:28 AM

    Now this IS a touching story and the heart of what can make one thankful for what one has. Thanks for sharing.

    You aren't REALLY addicted to morphine, are you?!

    Comment from andreakingme - 11/29/03 6:31 PM

    what a touching story :)
    morphine .. ::big sigh:: now THAT was the bestest part of child birth oh yea !!!
    i'm glad you made it through your surgery years ago and that you're here today to share your life with us
    happy thanksgiving
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 11/27/03 9:21 AM

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Happy Thanksgiving

It's a gray and rainy morning hereabouts. Dark enough an hour after sun up to need a light on by the window in order to read the paper. Clothesline is drooping dangerously close to ground level as the sodden towels fail to dry in the morning rains.

I (like many of you) have been thinking about our military in Iraq - the men and women in infantry and on the ground in Tikrit and Baghdad and other dangerous places. What kind of Thanksgiving will they have? Their families will sorely miss them this year around the groaning board come Thursday.

Hereabouts another 300 or so folks are getting ready to ship out. Gone is the sense of excitement and anticipation I sensed in the first batch to go last spring. This bunch are somber, sober and reluctant to talk about anticipated conditions. These are my neighbors and acquaintances -- men and women I served for many years. Quite a few fear for their lives. Even more worry about those left behind. No one I have spoken with that's been called up appears to welcome the intrusion of this war in their ordered existence -- and yet all speak with confidence about the job they have ahead of them. I am proud of them.

Many question where US policy will lead us -- but none of those in military service I've prodded over coffee have been willing to discuss Bush's leadership or lack thereof. This is a far cry from the bitchin' and grousin' I heard from some of these same troops upon return from "Desert Storm." Before, it was about O-I-L. This time it isn't so clear. Some think they are helping to liberate Iraq. Others see it as mopping up what we failed to do the first time around. Most seem to think its a futile effort they have no chance of avoiding, so they'd rather not talk about it, thank you.

Wish them well. If you pray, include them in yours. Theirs will be a bleak Thanksgiving this year.


This entry has 1 comments:
    I know what you are thinking--my little brother is to ship out next month.

    Cathy
    Comment from jules432 - 11/26/03 7:59 PM

I'm angry, embarassed - and nearly a week late!

Nope, I'm not hauling out the EPT just yet. The love of my life and I got around to watching the tape of the last issue of Survivor! this past evening and lo and behold, the big guy has been shafted. Upset my wife no end that that scheming, snivelling psycho named Jon is free to wander around while the group gave Rupert the boot. She's even thinking about writing a nasty-gram to the show's producers. Me, I will sit back and watch - but some of the pleasure has gone out of it, for sure.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Early Season Santa Sighting

Santa Claus made his annual pilgrimage to sail from the Bangor docks this Sunday. Santa has been giving residents seasons greetings from his sailboard while navigating the harbor below the Joshua Chamberlain Bridge for the past 18 years. No doubt the Bangor Daily News and WLBZ-TV 2 will have coverage tomorrow or by Tuesday.


This entry has 1 comments:
    Well I was wrong - no coverage in the paper nor on the TV station's web site - just the quick blurb on the 6 o'clock news on Sunday. Guess wind surfing Santas aren't news any longer. :(

    Comment from olddog299 - 11/25/03 12:42 AM

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Hmmm... not my day, I guess.

Hmmm... not my day, I guess.
Picture from Hometown

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

Brought to you by Quizilla

This entry has 3 comments:
    You definitely don't suck. :)

    Down with quizzes that are bad for your self-esteem!!! tehehe..
    Comment from slowmotionlife - 11/25/03 1:07 AM


    and of course it won't let me make my own bunny for some odd reason .. it keeps telling me i didn't answer all the questions grrrrrrr
    pamela (i want my OWN bunny !!!)
    Comment from his1desire - 11/23/03 2:53 PM


    I need a t-shirt with that picture on it
    Comment from irun01 - 11/22/03 4:38 PM

Michael Jackson Is Nuts!

Michael Jackson. Child Molestor or just plain stupid? I'm having my doubts. Methinks he's sucked gas one time too many during his nips, tucks and peels. His inane, actually, insane comments to the media. Totally inappropriate actions dangling his infant over the balcony railing last year and admitting to sleeping with children other than his own offspring. Way too weird for a sane 44 y.o. adult male in this culture.

That is not to say he isn't guilty of the allegations levied nor is it a suggestion that these crimes against children don't happen every day all over this world. I'll leave the courts to decide the question of Jackson's innocence. I'll leave the court of public opinion to struggle with what to do about child molestors in general.

But while I stumble off to the couch for a post-prandial snooze, I wonder at the absolute stupidity I have observed coming from "NeverNeverLand Ranch" and its denizens.



This entry has 3 comments:
    I can't help but feel sorry for the man. I mean, just looking at him and his behavior, you can clearly SEE he needs help. Money or not, someone needs to make sure he's not hurting anyone. Like you said - leave it to the courts. He's not automatically guilty just because we all thing he's weird. But I hope - whatever the outcome - that he's able to get some help. And anyway.... what mother would let her children go to the NeverLand Ranch unsupervised? Talk about crazy!!
    Comment from slowmotionlife - 11/25/03 1:17 AM


    I really think that his celebrity has shielded him from getting the intensive therapy that he really needs.
    Comment from fdtate313 - 11/22/03 10:42 PM

    Love your rantings--if it is true it is about time that someone stop him.

    Cathy
    Comment from jules432 - 11/20/03 7:45 PM

Photoshop Tennis, Anyone?



The result of one of many PhotoShop™ Tennis "matches" -- See the previous entry for the where. The why is up to your imagination!

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Hangover

It appears I've failed to mention what's been going on in La Casa Loca lately and I should not have done that as it is the reason for the dearth of entries.

SWMBO has gone off and obtained employment at a new venue, new days and most importantly, new times. She is now in the ranks of the Treatment Nurse, doing wound care and giving, well, treatments, injections, salves, unguents, and the like (as opposed to the job of Med Nurse, which basically involves passing pills and elixers.)

This is a major change after having been a Charge Nuurse for the past 5 years followed by a stint as Shift Supervisor. It's a return to being a peon, with no significant responsibilities for the day-to-day functioning of the facility.

Most important is the fact this is a day job from 6:30 AM until 3:15 PM, Monday through Friday. This is so close to the American societal employment norm that we are experiencing shell-shock. Not to mention a severe readjustment of circadian rhythms. Neither of us have lived aught but a 3 to 11existence for over 5 years now. There is this blinding light in the sky that has me completely flumoxed. I can not see with out wearing dark glasses. And sleep? I know Pam over to Onegirlsheadnoise thinks her sleep cycle is pooched right now but she wouldn't believe what my body has been doing to me. I seem to have stabilized, finally, on surviving on 3 hours of sleep per night, with narcoleptic naps as my body sees fit. I am afraid to operate machinery. One minute I'm here but the next may find me in that peculiar state where I think I am awake, but given the genuinely bizarre thoughts and sights I can but conclude I am actually asleep. My legs, indeed my whole body is swollen, bloated in fact. My mind feels like it has been stuffed with shaving foam or whipped creme, perhaps. It's like a 24/7 hangover.

So that's why I haven't been writing. Sleep overcomes me almost immediately upon sitting myself in front of the keyboard. I arise moments or hours later, frozen from knees down, stiff and sore and cranky. If this be what everybody else lives like on a daily basis, they have my sincere sympathy, but I don't think I want to live like this.

This entry has 1 comments:
    "I am afraid to operate machinery" ohhhhh i can relate !! i'm running the washing machine with no clothes in it and making coffee at 3 am accomplishes nothing except an excuse to mop the kitchen floor lol like i need an excuse eh?
    i'm sending you both all the sympathy i can muster at 4 am :)
    pamela

    Comment from his1desire - 11/19/03 7:13 AM

Friday, November 14, 2003

Sad News For Photographers

A story in yesterday's Bangor Daily News needs sharing with a wider audience. Dave Lyman, President and owner has announced he needs to sell the Maine Photographic Workshops and the adjunct Rockport College before the end of the year or he'll be forced to close their doors. The paper cites the adverse effect of the war and the economy as the cause of the financial difficulties along with high interest rates on a new dorm building.

Literally thousands of folks have availed themselves of the workshops to learn new techniques and to improve their understanding of photography. The MPW was started originally by a grant from the Eastman Kodak Foundation and Kodak has been an active partner until recently.

I hope someone or a group of peoples come forward to carry on the tradition of excellence begun by Dave. The loss forever of the MPW is something I don't wish upon the photographic world.

Forty Things You Have Never Heard Uttered By A Suthner*

40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.

39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.

29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.

19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Daisy.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

* With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, whom I suspect is the spiritual father of these items, if not the actual author.



This entry has 2 comments:
    I've been a Southerner all my life and I have been known to utter a few of these lines. I do know quite a few of the people you're talking about though...
    Comment from fdtate313 - 11/20/03 12:42 AM

    Before being accused of Regional Snobbery, I should point out to all and sundry that I am married to a Suthner (Louisiana), these were sent to me by a Suthner (N. Carolina) and I'll probably move to the Southland one of these days if I ever figure out how to keep my beard from itching in the heat and humidity down there (as opposed to the heat I have been promised by some Suthren Baptists when I shuffle off this mortal coil). Hugs and kisses to y'all.

    Comment from olddog299 - 11/14/03 9:15 AM

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Sliding Down Occam's Razor - Watching My Sister Disappear

Stumbled onto this living requiem of a journal called Watching My Sister Disappear and it got me to thinking about my own family. Just two of us left now. And we have no descendants. Guess that's why my genealogy site is called "A Dying Breed," huh?

"We" used to mean the "Terror Trio" -- the thought of Billy, Ricky and Howie getting together in their homes caused palpitations in my grandmother's hearts (I'd previously been enough to kill off the only living grandpa shortly after my arrival).

Alas, Ricky is no longer with us. Little brother discovered his corpse one fine day in June 2000. Now he's haunted by the memory. Not sure whether it was accidental (he had diabetes and epilepsy and a history of not taking care of himself) or intentional -- the process of decay made it impossible to tell for certain. He was, by all reports, rebuilding his life after an unsuccessful suicide attempt 10 months earlier.

Neither Howard nor I are in the best of health and we are both over the hump and sliding down Occam's Razor into a vat of rubbing alcohol. I suspect that if a car accident, heart attack or stroke don't claim us then suicide probably will. We have both seen and come to understand the horror of life in nursing homes and assisted living facilities. While that type of existence might be fine for most, we are both reclusive curmudgeons. Just the thought of living with that many people again causes shudders down the spine (and in my case a fit of apoplexy). Death by Colt is much to be preferred.

Don't get me wrong -- neither of us are ready to do the deed any time soon. Its just that the horror of Alzheimer's, for instance, is enough that neither of us would be willing to allow the disease to progress as far as it has in the case described by Ms. Ross in her journal regarding her sister's losing battle with the disease.

Then again, no one's getting out of existence alive, are they?

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Rage Against The Machine


Today is Veteran's Day - the all-purpose remembrance day honoring the men and women who have served in the Armed Forces of these United States.

It started out as Armistice Day in remembrance of the end of the war we call World War One and of those cut down in aid of our allies. It was a truly horrid, horrible war and I am still troubled by my memories of the veterans of that conflict I knew in my childhood. They were hollow, haunted men -- never quite able to leave the horrors of the battlefields behind them.

As I grew from boyhood games of "Cowboys and Injuns" and that all-time favorite of little boys, the generic "War" whether it be with wooden sword and fiberboard shield or makeshift stick guns and pine cone grenades, I started to recognize the quiet sadness in the World War II veterans and the seething rage hidden behind the placid exteriors of the Korean War vets. On June 1, 1954, the Congress declared that henceforth November 11 would be set aside and dedicated to the remembrance of the United States Veteran.

Veterans of the Cold War understand that rage, too. Theirs was a conflict of nerves and economies over ideologies fought by well-meaning sycophants hidden away in underground bunkers and boardrooms. "What's good for the 'military/industrial complex' is good for America" was the watchword.

The sixties brought us the Bay of Pigs and the brinkmanship of Nikita Khruschev and John Kennedy, Lyndon Baines Johnson's attempt at greatness in Vietnam and Richard Nixon's forays into Cambodia and Laos. The veterans of those conflicts have a much tougher time holding their head high. But they certainly understand the sadness and rage of their comrades.

Beirut. Grenada. Nicaragua. Desert Storm. Serbia and Bosnia. Somalia. And now Iraq. There seems to be no lack of venues requiring our presence. Millions of men and women have served in the armed forces of these United States. Your mothers and fathers and theirs. My brothers and sisters and yours. My children. Your grandchildren. Thousands upon thousands have died in service in the past 86 years, since that fateful day in November 1917. Honor them all for they have served and sacrificed so others would not have to.



This entry has 1 comments:
    thank you so much for the history lesson .. seriously .. it is so easy to forget the meaning of holidays and view it as a day off from work
    pamela
    Comment from his1desire - 11/13/03 9:17 AM