WARNING: New Scam

I do not normally send around e-mails on issues like this....but be warned...

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Polo Park for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your bags into the trunk. They both start cleaning your windscreen. Their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It's impossible not to look especially with all the rain we have been having.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say "No" and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case Canadian Tire on St. James. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen Oct 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, and again on the 17th. We are now into Nov and those little vixens fooled me again on the 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, again last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Sears has wallets on sale for $2.99 each

Irish Alzheimer

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn come to church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would rather do without your hat than Burn in Hell, right ?"

Murphy shook his head and said, "No, Father, after you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, I remembered where I left me hat."

Courtesy of my octogenarian uncle... there may be snow on the roof, unc, but there's still smoke in the chimbley.