Saturday, April 15, 2006

Phew! You Stink!

So said She Who Must Be Obeyed to me on Thursday night as she opened the car door. The miasma -- despite the fact that my window was open to allow the evening vapors to circulate -- was almost palpable in it's stench. No more conversation occurred as my better half was too busy gagging as she attempted to roll down the window on the passenger side.

It happened before I could react. There we were, Willow the Wunderhund and your correspondant, heading out the kitchen door. Willow was off to the kennel and I was off to pick up the wife unit from work. Willow espied a new cat on the porch and just had to go over and sniff her. Too late, I realized that said cat wasn't the black and white yearling. No, it was Ms. Skunkie, of the under the summer kitchen skunkies. Too bad. So sad...

Willow got a snoot full and is banished to the kennels for several weeks to dilute the stink and await warmer weather so I can bathe her before she'll be allowed in the house. I caught the back spray and instantly the nerve endings in my nose overloaded. It was a glancing blow, but effective. Naught to do but keep on keeping on. So off to work I go.

Of course, they had a big meeting of the Alzheimer's Support Group at the facility that was breaking up when I arrived. I overheard more than a few comments as folks gave the car wide berth after getting their first whiffs of the eau de cologne that Ms. Skunkie supplied. As I told SWMBO, good thing it was the Alzheimer's group -- at least they won't remember it. Heheh...


Ms. Skunkie tearing up the lawn on a fine June evening, Spring, 2005

East Coast Greenway Becoming A Reality

A plan to create a national walking trail along the east coast from Calais, Maine to Key West, Florida is coming closer to reality, according to the Maine Department of Transportation.

"Aiming to connect all the major cities of the East Coast along a continuous, off-road path, the East Coast Greenway spans 2,950 miles from Calais, Maine to Key West, Florida. With the trail now 21 percent open for public use, individuals and communities all along the East Coast are already beginning to enjoy the Greenway's many health and economic benefits. But still, there's much to be done."
Read about it here and look at the map of the Maine segment here: ECG-ME.jpg (JPEG Image, 751x561 pixels)

First seen on All Things Maine

Friday, April 14, 2006

Another side of the Amish ...

you don't see mentioned in the MSM is elaborated upon in this entry at Northview Diary: The six-berry pie.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

MEME: Weekend Assignment #107

image of a REMSTAR auto CPAP machine


John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #107: Tech You'd Miss

Weekend Assignment #107: Which recent piece of technology would you miss the most if it suddenly disappeared tomorrow? By "recent," I mean in the last two decades or so (if you didn't have it in 1986, you can't have it now). You can also consider tech which did exist in 1986 but wasn't in common usage. For example, the Internet existed in 1986, but no one except a few geek at universities used it. Any tech is up for consideration, whether it be consumer tech, medical tech, security tech, or whatever.

Extra Credit: If you were cut off from the Internet (like, say, me), how long would it take for you to go completely insane?

Dear John.

Sorry about your troubles. Back in 1986 I was using multiple PC's (all S-100 buss CP/M machines with 300 baud modems) which allowed me to write, connect to my email account at the University of Maine and, of course, conduct research via the card files at Fogler Library and on ARPA Net. So I'd really miss my computers. There's no way I want to return to the “good old days.”

However, I can identify one piece of technology I rely upon to keep me alive every day and that is my automagic CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine. The “automagic” part is that it adjusts the pressure automatically, based on the depth of my inhalations and the force of my exhalations. Thus preventing my tongue and uvula from blocking my airway. Good thing, that. The only other way I can sleep without killing myself is upright in a chair. So, the loss of a CPAP machine would really bug me no end, y'know?

I have actually acquired a back-up DC power supply that i can use to power the machine for a full night's sleep, just in case of an extended power outage (not so rare around here). Once depleted, I can then recharge it off the car alternator, or even the lawn mower! Of course, on DC, no heated humidification is available, but thats minor, compared to no CPAP at all.

So, I can do without TV and computers and cell phones and even my DSL line if necessary. In many ways, society might be better off if we returned to typewriters and a slower mode of life. But I'm not ready to forgo all the benefit that microchip electronics has brought us. Not by a long shot...

May Krissy and Athena be well and happy and keep your nose to the grindstone, even if it is only a virtual one.

wil

PS. Extra Credit: Day and a half, at the outside. I am, after all, addicted. But insanity has its own rewards, not to be missed.

Sad state of affairs

Bangor burned-body case now a homicide - Bangornews.com Staff

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A warm and fuzzy post

I was talking with a friend about ways of increasing readership here at the Snooze and she suggested more warm and fuzzy entries. Well, you can't get much warmer and fuzzier than this.


A tip of the fedora to Pharyngula and this post for the idea.

Happy Birthday, Cheetah

Cheetah  and Johnny Weismuller take a break on the set of Tarzan
According to the local news tonight (Channel 5, WABI-TV, Bangor, Maine), April 10, 2006 was the 74th birthday for Cheeta, the chimpanzee sidekick to Johnny Weismuller's Tarzan series from the 1930's!

I should be so lucky as to live that long...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Monday Music Mambo: Prevent Cruelty To Animals Day

RFDUCK, the Monday Music Mambo Mememeister took a moment from his foraging chores and quacked thusly:

Greetings, everyone! Have a good weekend? I sure hope so. Today is Prevent Cruelty To Animals day, so to honor our furry friends and be nice to them, this is what we're going to do:

List songs or artists that have animals in the title or are about animals. Cats, dogs, snakes, etc.

Here's a dozen of them:

  1. Talk To The Animals ~~ Rex Harrison (from the Broadway show Doctor Dolittle)

  2. Animal Crackers ~~ Melanie

  3. A Salty Dog ~~ Procul Harem

  4. America (Horse With No Name) ~~ America

    "You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name
    It felt good to be out of the rain
    In the desert you can remember your name
    'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain".

  5. Can Your Pussy Do The Dog? ~~ The Cramps

  6. Year of the Cat ~~ Al Stewart

  7. Me And You And A Dog Named Blue ~~ Lobo

  8. Glass Onion ~~ The Beatles

    I am the Walrus, coo, coo, ca-choo”

  9. Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport ~ Rolf Harris

  10. Who Let The Dogs Out? ~~ Baha Men

  11. The Lion Sleeps Tonight ~~ The Tokens

  12. (I ain't nuthin but a) Hound Dog ~~ Elvis Presley


The rules are, there are no rules!!! All you need to do is copy and paste the above questions into your blog and add your responses. After you've finished, return here and leave us a comment so we'll know you've Mamboed. Be sure your Mambo is linked back to http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com so others can dance too.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. If one of the questions doesn't inspire you then simply "pass" it. Just use your imagination and dance like crazy!

If you don't have a blog or you're an exhibitionist *woo hoo* feel free to Mambo right here in our comments section. There's absolutely no pressure ... although it's called the Monday Music Mambo you can Mambo on any day.

Until next time, this is your music-lovin' Mememeister saying have a good Monday and a good Mambo!

MEME: Monday Madness


Otto announced, with a spring in her step and a lilt to her voice “The following questions were offered by one of our fellow participants who wishes to remain anonymous. After you've answered the first question, proceed to the set of questions below it, depending on if your answer was YES or NO. Thanks so much for playing!”

Do you like to shop? No, not particularly.

IF NO, answer the following:

1. Even though you don't like to shop, where do you find yourself shopping most often? Wal Mart
2. Do you try to send someone else to shop for you? if so, who and why that person? The only other around is SWMBO¹ and she hasn't the time, unless we are shopping for her needs.
3. do you think shopping online is as annoying as shopping in stores? Nope. I do it frequently for the kinds of things one can buy as cheaply or cheaper online.
4. Does anyone close to you encourage to go shopping with her (or him)? if so, do you feel tortured and go or just say no? Most often, for the sake of marital harmony, I go along. But if I can pull it off, I try to get her to shop with a girlfriend and leave me at home. But, she tends to get into trouble that way...

¹She Who Must Be Obeyed, i.e. My better half.

You can get your own copy of the questions to play along by visiting the Monday Madness web site. Don't forget to leave a link to your answers in the comments there. Enjoy!

MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 32



This weekend, Virginia faced a chance of severe weather from the same storm system that brought baseball-sized hail to Memphis and a string of deadly tornadoes across Tennessee. That got me thinking about this week's question.

But first, Abigail, of "Aesthetic Vibes," was first to answer last week's question about Crayola colors due for a new name! Congratulations, Abigail!

On to the challenge!

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
Name up to seven things you enjoy doing during a thunderstorm.

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

  1. Sit and watch the storm come in (out of the rain, if at all possible).

  2. At night, I like to open the bedroom curtains and blinds and watch the light show.

  3. I like to shiver with fear when a lightening strike is nearby.

  4. Back when I was a firefighter, I liked responding to calls during thunderstorms while everyone else was running for shelter. Muy Macho! Muy stupido!

  5. I truly enjoy lighting the lanterns and lamps when the power goes out.

  6. I also enjoy calling the power company to report the outage.

  7. I like tempting fate and photographing lightning.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Kill The Goat: International Ball Dropping Day

Over at Kill The Goat: International Ball Dropping Day, Jason desperately needs your help to convince his testicles they should once again descend, now that warmer weather is here.

Boing Boing: Hersh: Bush plans for Iran attack include nuke option

Boing Boing: Hersh: Bush plans for Iran attack include nuke option:

I said this in private a year ago, but no one was listening. Then again, I'm not Seymour Hersh. Read this startling bit of news for yourself, if you want to know what's at stake if when this prognostication comes true...

The G-Shot

This recent article on the New York Post Online Edition: entertainment entitled "G-Whiz" gives me pause. Injecting collagen into a woman's "G spot" is, it seems to me, fraught with peril and an opportunity for some really sick abuse scenarios.

But putting the really scary stuff aside, dear women, answer me this. Would you really want to be sexually aroused for four months straight? Every time you cross your legs an opportunity to orgasm? It'd give a whole new perspective to visiting the gynecologist, that's for sure. I can see that the mechanical bulls at the cowboy clubs would be plumb worn out after some ladies of my acquaintance got done with them. Enough. I'm even beginning to bother me...

Meme: Saturday Six -- Episode 104

Saturday Six - Episode 104



This week's edition of the Saturday Six wraps up the second full year of this weekly meme. Thanks to everyone to decided to play and for spreading the word. There is a special kind of question among the six this week, and similar questions will appear as older versions of the Six from the original blog are reposted here.

Enjoy!

Last week, Laura of "Adventures in Juggling" was first to play last week. Congratulations, Laura!

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. Researchers in France have announced that they have developed a "mirror" that uses digital technology plus user input about diet and exercise to determine what you will look like in 10 years. So if you found yourself before such a device, would you want to have a look?
Sure, sounds fascinating. Given it was developed by French researchers, I wonder if I'll have hairy armpits?
2. Have you done your taxes? If not, when will you finish them?
Not yet, not sure when they'll be done. If needs be, we'll file for an extension.
3. Has the amount you owe or the amount you're getting back (or what you expect the outcome to be) likely to get you to change how much your employer withholds? Why or why not?
If it turns out we owe a lot more than originally anticipated, then yes, I'll suggest the withholding be increased.
4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): Should you quit your job?
I'm unemployed. What do you think?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 67%

Your job is a total bummer, and probably the worst job you've ever had.
Your co-workers stink. Your boss is a jerk. And your company is probably in trouble.
Think about finding a new job quickly, even if it's just a not-so-great transition job.
You've got to get out of there as quickly as you can!

Should You Quit Your Job?


5.
SECOND CHANCE TO BE FIRST TO PLAY QUESTION #1: The Saturday Six began on April 17, 2004, on the old version of "Patrick's Place" over at AOL. When everything moved here, the old comments weren't able to follow. Cdmmw of "I've Got A Fever, and the Only Prescription is More Cowbell" already has a first "link" to her questions on that entry. But for the rest of you, here's your chance to be the first one to answer those original six questions in a comment. For this question, leave your answers in a comment here.
Sorry, I already answered it here. None of this comments stuff for me... BTW, congratulations and thanks are due Patrick for keeping the likes of you and me entertained for the past two years, too.
6.
READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #87 from springsnymph: Suppose you're given a box containing a substantial amount of money and it's yours to keep and use however you wish. If and when you open it to retrieve the cash, someone you don't know in another state, country or perhaps even across town will drop dead instantly. This will happen only the first time you open the box. Would you open it?
Yes.
If you have a Reader's Choice question you'd like to see asked (and answered), click the e-mail link in the Blogger profile and send it to me Patrick.

Meme: Unconcious Muttering -- Week 166

Sunday, April 09, 2006
Week 166

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Buck::Henry
  2. Harry::Potter
  3. Play::Broadway
  4. Monstrosity::Habitat
  5. Nightclub::The Blue Note
  6. Missing::Persons
  7. Sprout::Jolly Green Giant
  8. Flavor::Additive
  9. Identity::Theft
  10. Saucy::Tart
If you'd like to play along, sign up for email notification of the word postings or tell us where you've posted your answers, stop by La Luna Niña's site. By doing so, that mole you've been worrying about will start to subside. The funny metalic taste in your mouth will disipate, too. Unless you are pregnant, that is, you saucy tart, you...

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Meme: Weekend Assignment #106

John Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #106: Scalzi's Somewhat Pathetic Cry for Help

Weekend Assignment #106: Suggest a really cool birthday gift for my wife. By which I mean -- if you're a woman, what would you want for a birthday gift, and if you're a man, what would you get for your significant other?

Now, here are the ground rules:

1. Money is not necessarily an object, but, come on, be reasonable.
2. Don't suggest anything that Krissy couldn't unwrap in public.
3. Your gift idea doen't actually have to be something you can buy -- if you want to suggest something intangible, go ahead.
4. Don't tell Krissy I'm doing this. Like, shhhhh.

Extra Credit: How good of a job do you do in getting your spouse/significant other gifts they like?


Dear John,

It should come as no surprise that I am of the opinion that you are blessed with the presence of not one, but two of the nicest females on the planet. As to how this miraculous turn of events came about, well, as Ricky Ricardo would have said, “you got some 'splaining to do, Lucy.”

So it saddens me that you are at such self-admitted loose ends when it comes to your wife's birthday. I know that I could make the top of my wife's “Hit Parade” with a weekend for two at a nice (not 5 star, simply clean, quiet and nice) hotel in New York City or Boston, tickets to a Broadway show and a few hours at an art museum, with the rest of the time spent seeing the sights. That'd frost her cake to a fare-thee-well. Mostly because she's never been to either venue, but has expressed the desire to visit more than once. Also, it would be a chance to get away from routine, the killer of joy in all relationships. But mostly, because we would do this as a couple, it would please her to have some “we” time.

So, compadre, what about leaving the darling munchkin with friends or relatives and just Krissy and you go off for a weekend for two in Chicago or Pittsburgh or Lexington? Easy driving distance, things to do and places to go that aren't “home” or “routine”. Combine the trip with a pair of one carat diamond studs (or dangles, if her ears aren't pierced) and you will have created a weekend she'll remember a long, long time. Just make sure it has absolutely nothing to do with her work or yours, if you want her to truly believe it's all about her.

Whatever you do, by the way, never, ever, let her think it isn't about her and her needs. Fail that and all benefits hoped to be accrued will disappear in an angry black cloud and you just might as well have stayed home, chained to the computer, for all the good it will do you.

Best of luck,

wil

PS Extra Credit -- If I must rate my abilities in the gift-giving vs target desired mode, I'd say I have more hits than misses. Or Mrs., for that matter.

Friday, April 07, 2006

HUMOR (Politically Incorrect): Earthquake, D.F.

Earthquake

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock
  • Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army control the riots.
  • Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
  • Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
  • The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
  • The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
-God Bless America!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

QUIZ:Are You Quirky?

Shelly gave me a chocolate to do this one:




Your Quirk Factor: 79%



You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.

No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

According to this story on MSNBC.COM, “Ohio University will reimburse a student for a bicycle that was destroyed during a bomb scare.” The story goes on to explain that the bicycle bore an advertising sticker handed out free by radio stations and clubs for a Florida-based punk rock band named “This Bike is a Pipe Bomb.”

The question I put before you is this. The DA had originally charged the bicycle owner with “inducing panic” according to the story, but dropped the charges. Given that one may not shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater and cause a panic, is having an advertising sticker on a bicycle on a college campus with the phrase “This Bike Is A Pipe Bomb” justification enough for charging the student with “inducing panic”?

Your thoughts?

Maine Bald Eagle Nest Cam



Last year I wrote about the Maine Loon cam. This year, it's the Maine Bald Eagle nest cam. This is a project of the BioDiversity Research Institute. The live connection is available for those who have Windows Media Player only. There is some archived footage available that doesn't require WMP.

Due to the anticipated heavy traffic the BRI asks we limit out connect time and, of course, contribute money to pay for a bigger "pipe" to handle the traffic. Do what you can.

Maine Bald Eagle Nest Cam

Audio Entries

This one is primarily for the road warriors and AOL refugees. Did you know that Blogger provides for audio blogging? Yep, you can make an entry, from anywhere in the world, over any phone connection that will patch you through to standard long distance dial up. The only cost to you would be for out-of-areacode calls (ie. long distance charges). Read all about it here and click on the
START AUDIOBLOGGING NOW button to start the 3-step sign up.

Meme: Unconcious Muttering -- Week 165

Week 165

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Desire::deep
  2. Sleep::rest
  3. Lost::puppy
  4. 2006::eh?
  5. Pump::blown
  6. Space::lab
  7. Stuck::mud
  8. Reference::wiki
  9. Birth::date
  10. Hand::job
Go to La Luna Niña's site for your own copy of the words and to leave bread crumbs for others to find your answers. The cyber-life you save, may be your own.

Meme: Saturday Six -- Episode103



Welcome to the 103rd edition of the "Saturday Six." If you do the math, next week will be edition 104, and when you divide that by 52, and you'll see that will wrap up two full years of the Six!

Last week, Cdmmw of "I've Got A Fever, and the Only Prescription is More Cowbell" was first to play last week. Congratulations!

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link in the comments here to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. Assuming you have a DVD player and a show you used to enjoy becomes available on DVD...what is the deciding factor on whether or not you'll actually buy it?
Available funds. So far, while numerous movies have made it home, I have managed to avoid the purchase of old TV shows. There are a very few that, if they appeared at a reasonable price, I'd be sorely tempted, assuming any discretionary funds at all were available.
2. What do you find generally more offensive: the average prime time television show or the people who want their own personal standards of decency to be the guidelines the networks must follow?
Those who would impose their own standards upon others should be snatched up by an angry, torch bearing mob in the middle of the night, tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail. Of course, with my luck, the neighbors will have a spare feather pillow.
3. If you were in charge of the FCC, which of the following would be your priority when it comes to decency on the airwaves: cutting down on violence, sex or profanity?
None of the above. However, I would strengthen and/or reinstate the broadcast fairness standards. It has become impossible for any but the predominant two political parties to convey their message to the public. It is the source of the rabid dualism gripping the political throats of the populace and in the interest of reducing the horrid state of political affairs in the USA, other parties and voices must be heard. Therefore, equal time provisions for all would become the rule for all local and state races. At the expense of a complete ban upon paid political speech on the nation's airwaves, both radio and television. Let the national races wage their campaigns in the print media only. Henceforth, the public airwaves would return to discussion of local issues and state races only.
4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?

You will be sucked dry by a leech.

I'd stay away from swimming holes, and stick to good old cement.

Even if it does hurt like hell when your toe scrapes the bottom.

Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code


5. One of those crazy remodeling shows appears at your door one day and offers to redo any room of your house or apartment for free, but that it can only be one single room that gets a makeover. Would you let them in, and if so, which room would you choose and why?
Assuming the house was clean and neat enough that SWMBO will consent to their entrance, let's give them a challenge, shall we? I do hope they've brought barrels of money though, because the kitchen needs the makeover and the first place one would start would be the crumbled and crumbling foundation. Then, they'd never be happy with the tilting floors, the half-assed job the previous owners did with leveling concrete, now would they? Of course, we'd have to do something with heat and plumbing and electricity (the house was built in the 1850's, after all) and then the tin ceiling with the 500 coats of paint would pose a minor challenge, too. Mustn't forget cabinets and new counter tops and flooring and my, my, my, we've blown through the entire budget for six shows, now haven't we?

On second thought, this place will never be clean and neat enough that my wife will ever let anyone through the door, so I guess we don't have to worry about this at all, now do we?
6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #86 from cdmmw2: Do you recall your first kiss? Did you think that kissing was worth all the hype??
Yes. Yes. Nope.


Saturday, April 01, 2006

Open Office Sold To Microsoft!!!

I was having problems opening a file sent by my stepdaughter, Lana. As near as I could tell it was an OpenOffice spreadsheet in the .sdp format. OpenOffice is a free office suite, compatible with Microsoft Office and supported by a number of professional organizations, including Sun Microsystems. And best of all, it is free.

So I went to the OpenOffice homepage and what do I spy but this announcement. Naturally, I was concerned. I have been steadily moving away from all Microsoft products. This story forced the coffee up the throat, out the nose and on to the keyboard! See for yourself...

Microsoft Buys OpenOffice.org!

For an undisclosed sum reputed to be in the billions, Microsoft's Bill Gates has personally bought the leading open-source desktop project. Saying he "was sick and tired of open-source eating away at his profits," the world's richest man decided to put an end to the nuisance and simply buy OpenOffice.org. It will form part of a growing list of Microsoft acquisitions, including several erstwhile competitors, a considerable number of prominent politicians, and a few small governments.

The initially stunned OpenOffice.org community--a happy-go-lucky international band numbering in the hundreds of thousands--later turned to champagne to celebrate their newfound wealth. "Bless Bill!" one happy Torontonian exclaimed, bubbly in hand. "With all this money, I can beat Mark's time in orbit!"

Gates has assured all current OpenOffice.org users that their future migration path to Microsoft Office is guaranteed thanks to OpenOffice.org's faultless support of MS Office files formats. Users can further rest assured that the full functionality currently provided by OpenOffice.org 2.0 will be available in MS-Office 2020 - or possibly 2030.

Seven Year Hitch

A momentous weekend, what with April Fools Day and National Set Your Clocks Ahead Sunday, Dummy, and the fact that just seven short years ago, I watched SWMBO struggle from her sick bed to disappear with giggling girlfriends to go off to the hair salon, the coin shop and then the local fern bar? At 11:00 in the morning? What gives?

I even wrote about it last year.

Yep, we got married. Second time's a charm, so they say. So far, so good. If I had to do it again today?

You Betcha...

Damn. What's that itch?



Friday, March 31, 2006

Silly Me...

SI.com - MLB launches probe into 'roids - 18 hours ago
So this headline appears at the top of my inbox on Gmail and what do I do? I wonder to myself if they're going to need Headlamps, given what big assholes most MLB players are.

Then I realize they're talking about steroids, not hemorrhoids!

POP QUIZ

And to think I spent the entire fourth grade writing on the blackboard...

wil will have to write:



I will stop yelling, "As God is my witness,
I will never go hungry again�"



'What will you have to write on the chalk board?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Ah Ha! So That Explains It...

"… so be warned, rubberneckers… reading blogs, actually blogging, or even just thinking about blogging/reading blogs will probably cause you to cease to be a functioning member of society… but hey, you guys are all grown-ups…. so choose wisely… and y'all probably weren't very high up on the Productive Member of Society scale anyways...." -The Straight White Guy

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Weekend Assignment #105: Share a favorite poem.

Weekend Assignment #105: Poetry in Motion

It's time to get a little bit cultured here at the Weekend Assignment:

Weekend Assignment #105: Share a favorite poem.


Extra Credit: Ever write poetry yourself?

Dear John,

Poet Laureate of San Francisco Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem “Christ Climbed Down” was one of the first poems that wasn't required reading for course work that I fell in love with. At the age of 15. Only eight short years after it was first published. By a poet living and well respected by his contemporaries. Notorious, due to his being Allen Ginsberg's domestic publisher and indicted co-conspirator in the censorship trial concerning HOWL! Who I heard read said poem at Columbia University one weekend evening when I was supposedly “staying with a friend” in Greenwich Village. Best hooky I ever played. Even better than that time I got the ride of my life by Shelly on the back of a dappled gray gelding ... and that's saying something!

Of course, it lead to things like hanging out in coffee houses and bookstores, listening to other poets. Tuli Kupferberg. Allen Ginsberg's HOWL! had me from the first stanza. Dennis Nurkse, the Poet Laureate of Brooklyn, and other “beat poets” of the day.

Without further discussion...



CHRIST CLIMBED DOWN

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
there were no rootless Christmas trees
hung with candy canes and breakable stars

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
there were no gilded Christmas trees
and no tinsel Christmas trees
and no tinfoil Christmas trees
and no pink plastic Christmas trees
and no gold Christmas trees
and no black Christmas trees
and no powder blue Christmas trees
hung with electric candles
and encircled by tin electric trains
and clever cornball relatives

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no intrepid Bible salesmen
covered the territory
in two-tone cadillacs
and where no Sears Roebuck creches
complete with plastic babe in manger
arrived by parcel post
the babe by special delivery
and where no televised Wise Men
praised the Lord Calvert Whiskey

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no fat handshaking stranger
in a red flannel suit
and a fake white beard
went around passing himself off
as some sort of North Pole saint
crossing the desert to Bethlehem
Pennsylvania
in a Volkswagen sled
drawn by rollicking Adirondack reindeer
and German names
and bearing sacks of Humble Gifts
from Saks Fifth Avenue
for everybody's imagined Christ child

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and ran away to where
no Bing Crosby carolers
groaned of a tight Christmas
and where no Radio City angels
ice skated wingless
thru a winter wonderland
into a jinglebell heaven
daily at 8:30
with Midnight Mass matinees

Christ climbed down
from His bare Tree
this year
and softly stole away into
some anonymous Mary's womb again
where in the darkest night
of everybody's anonymous soul
He awaits again
an unimaginable
and impossibly
Immaculate Reconception
the very craziest of
Second Comings

This is from A Coney Island of the Mind, Poems by Lawrence Ferlinghetti,
a New Directions Book, Copyright ©1958 by Lawrence Ferlinghetti.



You had to ask, didn't you? My best regards to your gals. Congrats on all the wonderful things that have been happening in your life of late. I'm envious. No question about it.

Wil

P.S. Extree Credit, Read All About It: Snoozelets

MEME: Tuesday Two - Episode 23



A new piece of equipment at work has me thinking about the wonders of technology. That's the topic of this week's question.

For those who have never played, the rules are simple: I offer two different questions, both related to the same topic, but you only choose one of them to actually answer.

Carly of "Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly" was first to answer last week's question for the second week in a row. Congratulations, Carly!

Now, onto this week's choice of questions. And remember: don't answer both questions!


THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: TECHNOLOGY

QUESTION A:
In general, do you think technology makes our lives easier or harder, and why?

or

QUESTION B:
What "modern marvel" could you most do without, and why?

Choose A or B, (indicate which question you're answering!) then either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

Remember: choose one or the other...not both!

I'm answering Question A this week:

Technology is a double-edge sword; it giveth and it taketh away. I think that technology has made our physical lives much easier than the lives of the folks a few generations back. It has also destroyed the potential for the vast majority of the populace, ie. the poor, the working class, and the middle class. The truly rich have other issues which we won't deal with today.

Today, technology affords us instant communications. Instant access to information. No longer must one sit down, compose one's thoughts, then (and only then) committing them to paper or parchment. Sent off, with barely concealed patience, to await a reply a week, a month or years in the coming. No longer do we wait our turn on a party line, having to pay exorbitant rates to call a relative a state away, and all the time knowing that every single word said will be known by all in the neighborhood by the close of business tomorrow. No, we have pagers on our belts, Blue-toothed cell phones glued to our ears around the clock such that you are either truly deprived or truly rich if you are unavailable to everyone and their brother 24/7.

Nor do we make our living by the strength of our backs and the sweat of our brow, for the most part. We have machinery to do the heavy lifting these days. Machines to do our thinking; answering our every whim twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

Unlike many of you, I live in a old house (circa 1856) and grew up in an even older house (1683 - older in comparison to the vast majority of housing in the United States of America). I live in a part of the world at war with itself over the advances of technology. My home was geared to early industrialized society's technology. That's the technology of wood heat, horses as prime movers, centralized supply and services, home grown food and manual labor for all. In the one hundred fifty years of this house's existence, it has seen electricity added, running water added, bathrooms added, insulation and storm windows added. It has seen the heat source change from individual room wood stoves, to a central, wood-fired hot air furnace, to an oil-fired boiler and back again to wood stoves and individual oil stoves. Still and all, the fact of the matter is the house is not much warmer than when it was built in the 1850's. It's just warmer for different technological reasons.

So too the lives of it's inhabitants have changed. The head of household no longer farms, providing milk to many of the neighbors and city folk they once took milk to via horse-drawn wagon on a daily basis from this farm located 8 miles from the downtown of the second largest city in Maine. That was about as far out as one could be and still bring product to your customers in the city behind a horse in a one day round trip. This farm no longer supports a dozen people, all needed to make it function smoothly with industry and benefit to all. It supports no one now. The economics of farming are such that this 100 acres are no longer viable as a profitable economic unit. Family farms must needs be a part-time operation. “Real income” is derived from the service sector economy, dishing up hamburgers and asking, “Do you want fries with that, Ma'am?

A large family is no longer needed nor desirable. One, possibly two children are all that anyone needs to assure replication and continuation of a family name. No longer are eight or nine offspring needed in order to assure survival of family from the ravages of time, disease and infant mortality. You know, it is considered a great tragedy these days to bury one's child where once it was a reasonable expectation to lose two or three prior to adulthood to disease and accidents. My wife must needs be no longer a slave 18 hours a day to assure the domestic tranquility; instead she slaves at an outside job for 8 hours a day to support the entire family – me.

Technology has eased the burden of hard physical labor to such an extent that the majority of citizens in western civilization fights obesity on a daily basis, suffers from ennui, and pays for the privilege of exercising muscles in gyms and spas across the land. Instead of the short, brutish life expectancy of a hundred fifty years ago, the technology rich pay for their bounty with extraordinary high stress, inability to sleep, chronic insufficient sleep well into their seventies and eighties – ages unheard of by most people just three or four hundred years ago.

So yes, life is easier and we live longer. We have so much food we've become fat. But I can not say, despite all that technology has to offer, that we are any happier than the citizens of 150 years ago. In point of fact, our general level of satisfaction with life may even be lower. We work far longer hours than our ancestors did, most of us at jobs we hate, for and with people we despise. Family unity and cohesion has fallen into disrepute. Today's students have more to learn by sixth grade than most adults knew in their entire lifetime. However, today's students are so distracted by the wonders of technology, hypnotized by mass media, and intoxicated by illegal substances and the surge of hormones in their systems as amplified by additives in the feed of the cows and pigs they eat and the milk they drink, that they border on the edge of illiteracy – and they're too ignorant to give a damn. Something to work on in the future, I guess, eh?

And so it goes...


You can join in by going to Patrick's Weekender and snagging the questions each week, answering one in your blog and leaving a link to your answer there in the comments. Easy. And expeditious, if you suffer from constipation. Sort of like Ex-lax, but gentler. Just ask Garrison Keilor about "Buttermilk Biscuits" while you're there -- he's a frequent contributor. To the New York Times' Sunday Book Section.

Wednesday Mind Hump

Hello humpers! Today's mind hump isn't very exciting, but it's good for you so you have to do it whether you like it or not. Today, you see, is Finish Your Veggies day. So take that look off your face and answer the following, or no dessert!

1. What is your favorite veggie? Broccoli.

2. Are there any veggies you don't eat? Nope, I'm an equal opportunity gnosher.

3. Which veggie do you think has the funniest name? Radicchio, kohlrabi.

4. If you're a vegetarian, why are you and do you like it? If you're not a vegetarian, would you ever want to become one? I was a lacto-ovule-pescan vegetarian for about six years, back in my twenties. I gave it up for meat. Damn, I missed a good steak something fierce. I think I've overdone it at this point...

The rules are, there are no rules!!! All you need to do is copy and paste the above questions into your blog and add your responses. After you've finished, return here and leave us a comment so we'll know you've humped. Be sure your hump is linked back to http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com so others can hump too.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. If one of the questions doesn't inspire you then simply "pass" it. Just use your imagination!

If you don't have a blog or you're an exhibitionist *woo hoo* feel free to hump right here in our comments section. There's absolutely no pressure ... although it's called the Wednesday Mind Hump you can hump on any day.

Until next time, this is your music-loving mememeister wishing you a happy hump day!

QUIZ: What Mythological Creature Are You?

All thanks to Cynthia at a Crazy Quilt Life. I'd actually expected to be a dragon, so was startled by the results...




You scored as Demon. Demon: Darkness is your sanctuary. Demons are many and are all different in appearence and rank. The most common are the ones that feed off of human souls. They love to make someone fall into their inner darkness. Blood, wrath, murder... You name it they love it. These beings don't care who you are, if they set their sights on you, let's just hope you know a good excorist. They kill any love within you and pull you toward their side. By any means possible. You wish for chaos and hate, you are the Demon.

Demon


100%

Dragon


92%

Mermaid


75%

WereWolf


58%

Faerie


25%

Angel


8%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Handicapped Canoeing?

According to this Maine Morning Sentinel article, a bunch of high school honors students have decided to kill two (or is it three) birds with one stone -- they're going to build the "World's Longest Canoe" -- 320 feet!
Good to see nothing has fundamentally changed...




You Are 88% Evil



You're the most evil person you know.

The devil is even a little scared of you!



Via Paul Little's Aurora Walking Vacation and he claims he got it from Respectful Insolence

Monday, March 27, 2006

MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 30



Over the years, the Crayola company has introduced a total of 120 colors to crayon boxes. A few names, like "Prussian Blue" and "Indian Red" have been changed at the request of educators to more politically-correct names like "Midnight Blue" and "Chestnut." In 1962, "Flesh" became "Peach." In 2000, "Torch Red" became "Scarlet."

That should give you enough information to get you ready for this week's colorful question.

But first, Carly, of "Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly," who was first to answer last week's question about dog breeds! Congratulations, Carly!!

On to the challenge!

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
Of the Crayola color names not mentioned above, pick up to seven names you think should be scrapped in favor of better, more descriptive, or more creative alternatives. (Feel free to suggest alternatives if you like, but it's not necessary.)

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment here. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)


My choices for the great color name dumpster-in-the-sky are:


  1. Banana Mania – name isn't all that bad but coupled to a decidedly non-manic-banana color.

  2. Beaver – this just plain wrong on so many levels.

  3. Fuzzy Wuzzy Brown – It's way too cutsey-wootsie and makes me want to arfy-barfy.

  4. Razzmatazz – It isn't a color, it's a Bronx Cheer!

  5. Shadow – It needs to be renamed to Baby Shit Green.

  6. Tickle Me Pink – really needs to be Spanking Fetish Rose in my book.

  7. Purple Mountain's Majesty – this could more accurately be renamed Blue Balls...


Those are my answers. This blog will self-destruct in 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2...

Monday Music Mambo - Week 92

RFDuck was heard to quack thusly, "Hello mamboers! Spring is finally here, but it doesn't really feel like it yet. I'll make this week's mambo fairly simple. All you have to do is give me some songs, artists, or albums that remind you of or use the following words:"

Birds – White Bird (It's A Beautiful Day)

White Bird

White bird, in a golden cage, on a winter’s day, in the rain.
White bird, in a golden cage, alone.
The haunting song "White Bird" sung by the musical group "It's A Beautiful Day" in 1969 was sadly prophetic. Will its longing cry ever be realized?

The leaves blow, across the long black road,
To the darkened skies, in its rage.
But the white bird just sits in her cage, alone.

White bird must fly
Or she will die

White bird, dreams of the aspen trees, with their dying leaves, turning gold.
But the white bird just sits in her cage, growing old.

White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.

The sunsets come, the sunsets go.
The clouds pile high, the air moves slow.
And the young bird’s eyes do always know.

Whatever the white bird was, she had no way to get out of the cage of this selfish human race and decadent world.White bird, in a golden cage, on a winter’s day, in the rain.
White bird, in a golden cage alone.

White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.
White bird must fly or she will die.

She must fly, She must fly, She must fly.

She must fly or she will die.

For an interesting discussion of the elements of this haunting refrain and to see the artwork in it's original context, please visit The Twelve Tribes of Israel

Flowers – April Showers...(Bring May Flowers) (Al Jolson)
Sun – Good Day, Sunshine!
Rain -- Autumn Rain, I Love A Rainy Day
Party (in honor of spring break) – Spring of '65 (Holy Modal Rounders), (We Love)Boobs-a-lot (The Fugs)
Change – A Change Is Gonna Come (Bob Dylan, although, many like Sam Cooke's version better)

There's my mambo for this week. Sadly, I don't have White Bird on CD so can't share it that way – still haven't gotten set up to transcribe the 500+ LP's I have to digital format.

The rules are, there are no rules!!! All you need to do is copy and paste the above questions into your blog and add your responses. After you've finished, return here and leave us a comment so we'll know you've Mamboed. Be sure your Mambo is linked back to http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com so others can dance too.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. If one of the questions doesn't inspire you then simply "pass" it. Just use your imagination and dance like crazy!

If you don't have a blog or you're an exhibitionist *woo hoo* feel free to Mambo right here in our comments section. There's absolutely no pressure ... although it's called the Monday Music Mambo you can Mambo on any day.

Until next time, this is your music-lovin' Mememeister saying have a good Monday and a good Mambo!

UPDATE: Go To this site and scroll down a ways to start a player with the entire track of White Bird for your listening pleasure. I have disabled the yahoo link originally cited as it would not play the track.

Monday Morning Madness Meme: The Wallet

Overcome by Spring, Otto was heard to say, “This week's questions come from our friend, Tilly! Thank you, Tilly, for offering these for us this week! =) And thanks to all of you for playing each week!”

1. Do you use a bag/satchel/wallet? I do indeed use a wallet.
2. Do you use the same bag/satchel/wallet everyday or change depending on your outfit? Same one, unless I am going kayaking or swimming, then I will slip some ID, a credit card and some cash into a floating wallet I have for such purposes.
3. What do you carry in your bag/satchel/wallet? ID, cash and debit/credit cards, important papers and medical info.
4. Do you check and change the contents of your bag/satchel/wallet before you go anywhere specific or do you take everything everywhere? Same thing, different day. I usually check and count the cash I have on hand at the start of each day, just as a means of avoiding unpleasant situations.
5. How often do you have a good clean out of your bag/satchel/wallet?
A couple times per year. Life, on the other hand, “cleans me out” frequently of any cash I might have.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Meme: Unconcious Muttering -- Week 164



I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Glass castle::stones
2. Preserved::well
3. Jealousy::green eyed monster
4. Territory::Yukon
5. Coffee::tea
6. Stephen::grandsons
7. Slut::Ho
8. Dynamic::static
9. Daybreak::dawn
10. Dew::point


Want to play along? Visit La Luna Niña's site for the new words and leave a link to your answers in the comments there.

Ray's Meme

One of my favorite contemporary writers is Ray Wong. Not sure what possessed him. but he posted a meme on his blog, I, the author. Well, you know I rarely pass a good one up and so I share it with you below. If you want to play along, be sure to leave a link to your answers in the comments at Ray’s blog. Thanks.

1. If someone is going to make a movie about you, which movie star/actress should play you?
Robin Williams - he’s of my generation and we’ve had a number of similar experiences, so he’d understand the character he’d be portraying better than some.
2. What are your favorite movies and/or books?
As of this moment, Philadelphia is still one of my favorite movies. Surprisingly catholic tastes in reading materials, two of my favorite books are Time Enough For Love and Past Through Tomorrow, both by Robert Heinlein. Others include Adam’s Task, Slaughterhouse 5 and Dune.
3. Coffee or chocolate?
Coffee, of course.
4. Hot tub or beaches?
Now that meds require me to avoid direct exposure of skin to sunlight it’s hot tubs. Used to be beaches, though.
5. Do you like to take naps? Or do you sleep only a few hours a day?
I love naps. Can’t get enough; actually must have or bad things happen to me.
6. Do you sleep in the nude?
Nope, not usually. I am pretty sensitive to chilling of my neck muscles, so I tend to wear a t-shirt in summer or turtleneck in winter when repairing to bed in our unheated bedroom. If I am sleeping alone I can sleep nude because I can pull the covers over my head as the CPAP provides me with fresh air.
7. What do you consider is your best achievement so far?
Helping to raise two children to adulthoods that do not involve drugs, crime or terrorist acts against the state ... so far.

Meme: Saturday Six -- Episode 102



In two more weeks, we will have completed the second full year of the "Saturday Six." Time does fly when you're having fun.

Last week, the first one to have fun with this weekly feature was Cat of "Sweet Memes," who was first to play last week. Congratulations, Cat!


Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. How confrontational are you in real life, and how does your real-life persona compare with your blogging persona?
I'm a pugnacious, annoying, son of a bitch in real life. On-line, because it is way too easy to mistake humor for an attack, I cut correspondents way more slack than normal.
2. Other than the food itself, what makes your favorite restaurant your favorite?
The view. It's looks out on the Gulf of Maine, a view I never get tired of.
3. You buy an iPod: what's the first tune you're likely to put on it?
This week, it'd be Johnny Cash's Hurt from his album American IV: The Man Comes Around
4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What's the most important quality of your (ideal) significant other?

Intelligence


Intelligence is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You like to be able to talk about everything that is on your mind, and if your partner can't keep up, well, you know. You are very attracted to someone who can challenge you, and make you see things in a whole new way.

Perfect BF/GF Piechart - QuizGalaxy.com
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com


5. If you had to choose one or the other, which would you rather do: hear gossip or be the first to reveal some juicy piece of gossip?
I really don't like gossip. But, assuming that “had to” is the operative term in the question above, I'd rather hear some gossip than spread it.
6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #85 from Barb: If you had a magic feather (my Daddy Do carries several in his pocket) and this magic feather could make you unbelievably attractive OR unbelievably intelligent, which would you choose, and why?

I'd like to try both. But, given I am so intelligent just as I am, (What? You doubt the veracity of the previous statement? How could you, with proof like this available?) I'd like to try giving "being attractive" a chance. It'd be a really new experience for me. I am many things. Attractive isn't one of them. I'm too short, my nose is too large, I'm too fat, my butt's too big, my ass too small, my eyes are too close together, the ears stick out, etc. ad nauseum. I've heard them all. Doesn't make them true, but after a while...

According to the author of this quiz...

I am 16% Idiot.
Friggin Genius
I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.


Blame this madness on John M Scalzi

Saturday, March 25, 2006

MEME: Tuesday Two - Episode 22



Even a springtime snow can't stop the Tuesday Two!

For those who have never played, the rules are simple: I offer two different questions, both related to the same topic, but you only choose one of them to actually answer.


Carly of "Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly" was first to answer last week's question about animals.

Now, onto this week's choice of questions. And remember: don't answer both questions!


THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: YOUR SPACE

QUESTION A:
What room of the house do you most consider to be entirely "your space" and what makes it so uniquely yours?

or

QUESTION B:
A co-worker wants to borrow your workspace while you're out of the office. The next day, you return to find your things out of place. Will that bother you at all, and will you say anything about it, or just quietly return things to "normal?"

Choose A or B, (indicate which question you're answering!) then either answer the question in a comment here or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

Remember: choose one or the other...not both!


This week it'll be the answer to “B” that I will tackle. Only because this used to happen with amazing regularity where I worked and because in the early days I shared an office and computer with the assessor and we both had issues about the moving of material. My modus operandi was to stew about the issue until it poisoned the relationship. Just the way I am. Stupid, this I know.


Once I got my own office and computer, I still had to get used to the sheriff's deputies and local SP dropping in and using my desk when I was out of the office to place calls. Aside from being unable to access my files and date book to see where I was supposed to be next while they were on the phone, I was cool with it. Despite all the bad-mouthing we do about government employees, the fact remains that rarely does local government ever have the resources it really needs to get the job done properly.

I'm not sure why I am so far behind this week. Must be Spring Fever.

Friday, March 24, 2006

MEME: Weekend Assignment #104: Color My World

Blue Sky At Sunset picture



John M. Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #104: Tell us your favorite color. Give no less than three reasons why it is so.

Extra credit: A picture that is primarily of your favorite color.

Dear John,

I see you captured the reasons for to be green. Well, I'm just a tool for blue. Blue is the color of the sky, the ocean reflecting a sunny day and the wonderful hue of blueberry ice cream! They've written songs to Blue. Blue Angel, Blue Danube, Old Dog Blue, Blue on blue ... it's a musical conspiracy. My mother's eyes were blue, the blue of the little flowers on the heath of her ancestral homeland.

But blue isn't to be confused with the Moody Blues or the blues of Muddy Water or B.B. King. That's the heart breaking, gut wrenching blues of loss, death and despair. That we'll reserve for another day when you are up for some heavy lifting.

Pick a pocketful of posies and give them to your darling Krissy and that prodigious progeny of yours, Athena. I wonder what “blue meanie” will the one who first breaks her heart?

wil