Dis 'n' Dat

Heard from my neighbor, yesterday. They're having a helluva winter in Maine. SO glad I am not there...

It's Mardi Gras time here. Of course, now my arthritis in my hip and leg chose this past week to go into high gear. Big time pain that NSAIDs don't touch. So much for watching the various Krewes do their thing either in New Orleans or Baton Rouge and vicinity. Standing for more than a half hour is excruciating now.

The dogs are loving it here in Louisiana. They have a fenced yard to play in, four other dogs to play with, and they even get to have a kid or two to chase in fun, now and again.

Another soldier dies in Baghdad. The new kid on the block doesn't seem able to convince the military-industrial establishment to loosen the reins of the war wagon, does he?

Speaking of his presidency, Obama is not going to be the "Great Black Hope" supporters made him out to be, pre-election. This economic depression won't allow that particular legacy to survive. It is going to be very bad for a long time. I suspect I won't live to see a recovery...

A shout out to NZforme who has recently bought herself a house! When's the move date -- my chiropractor has me scheduled for back therapy that day... (actually I am envious - sun, warmth and a built-in cocktail shaker - what else could you want in a home?)

SO, in closing, as they say down here:

Ode To A Fart

This was my wife's Valentine's Day gift to me. Being as I went to kindergarten, I know how to share ...

Happy Valentine's Day to my readers!


A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces.
.
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us,
Sooner or later.

But 'farts are all bad',
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!


Kinda brings a tear to your eye - doesn't it?

Science, Not "Creationism"

The following came across my email desk this morning. If you, or any of your relations, live in Texas and you believe that science should be taught in your public schools, regardless of religious denomination or absence thereof in your life, then pay heed:

Take Action Now to Ensure that Texas Kids Learn Science, not Ideology, in Public Schools

Creationists Besiege State Board of Education with Calls to Dumb Down Science Education in Texas Public Schools

As we mark the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin, the religious right has launched a new and ferocious attack on science education in Texas public schools.

Last month the State Board of Education narrowly voted against a curriculum requirement that students learn phony “weaknesses” of evolution promoted by creationists. Creationist pressure groups have responded with fury in the press. They have even viciously attacked the religious faith of board members who support giving Texas kids a sound science education.

And now the Texas Freedom Network has learned that creationists are flooding board members’ offices with thousands of e-mails and phone calls critical of evolution. They are demanding that the board reverse course in a final vote next month and require that science classes teach anti-evolution arguments that mainstream scientists debunked long ago.

This is outrageous. Texans cannot permit the religious right to bully elected officials into voting against the interests of Texas families and the mainstream values we all support. Supporters of sound science education cannot stand aside while far-right pressure groups try to distort and undermine the education of an entire generation of Texas schoolchildren.

Take Action!
The State Board of Education will meet on March 25-27 to take a final vote on the proposed science curriculum standards. It’s important that you take the following actions to ensure that board members vote for standards that put sound science ahead of ideology in our kids’ public schools:

1. Tell your State Board of Education member that you oppose efforts to water down instruction on evolution in public school science classes.
- Ask you board member to vote to adopt the sound science standards proposed in December by curriculum writing teams made up of teachers and academics.
- Oppose requiring that students learn phony “weaknesses” of evolution.
- Ask your board member to vote to strip out any amendments approved by the board in January that undermine instruction on evolution.

You can find the name of your board member by clicking here. It’s best to write your board member in your own words and send your e-mail to: sboeteks@tea.state.tx.us. However, you can also click here to send your board member a pre-written e-mail.

2. Submit your comments about the proposed standards to the Texas Education Agency. You can read the standards by clicking here. Then scroll down to Proposed Revisions to 19 TAC Chapter 112, Texas Essential Knowledge and Skills for Science, Subchapter A, Elementary, Subchapter B, Middle School, and Subchapter C, High School. Send your comments to TEA to this e-mail address: rules@tea.state.tx.us.

3. Sign up to testify at the State Board of Education’s public hearing on the proposed science standards on March 25. For information about how to testify, click here.

To find out how your SBOE member voted in January, and to stay informed on this issue, please click here.

It was inevitable, I suppose -- RoboGuitar

Dax covers this in his entry yesterday. The video is enlightening.

Make your Congress Critter Twitter

You're on Twitter, right? I am. Is your Congress Critter on Twitter? You can check at TweetCongress. You can even petition non-participants to get with it.

Go check and see if Senator Susan Collins, R-ME is a-Twittering...

Darwin Award Winner for 2008

THE DARWIN AWARDS:  A Chronicle of Enterprising Demises.
Honoring those individuals who improve the human race...
by accidentally removing themselves from it!

Celebrate Charles Darwin's 200th Birthday on February 12, 2009.
--------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+

2008 Darwin Award Winner: BALLOON PRIEST (Padre Baloneiro)
Confirmed.

April 2008, Atlantic Ocean | A Catholic priest ascended to
heaven on a host of helium party balloons, paying homage to
Lawn Chair Larry's aerial adventure. Larry, the beloved
survivor of a Darwin-worthy fiasco, attached 45 helium weather
balloons to his lawnchair, packed a picnic lunch, and cut the
tether--but instead of drifting above the Los Angeles landscape
as planned, he was rocketed into LAX air traffic lanes by the
lift of the weather balloons. Astoundingly, Larry survived the
flight.

Adelir Antonio, 51, was not so lucky.

His audacious attempt to set a world record for clustered
balloon flight was intended to publicize his plan to build a
spiritual rest stop for truckers. But, as truckers know,
sitting for 19 hours in a lawn chair is not a trivial matter
even in the comfort of your own backyard. The priest took
numerous safety precautions, including wearing a survival
suit, selecting a buoyant chair, and packing a satellite phone
and a GPS. However, the late Adelir Antonio made a fatal
mistake.

He did not know how to use the GPS.

The winds changed, as winds do, and he was blown inexorably
toward open sea. He could have parachuted to safety while over
land, but chose not to. When the voyager was perilously lost
at sea, he prudently phoned for help--but rescuers were unable
to determine his location, since he could not use his GPS. He
struggled with the unit as the charge on the satellite phone
dwindled.

Instead of a GPS, the priest let God be his guide, and God
guided him straight to heaven. Bits of balloons began
appearing on mountains and beaches. Ultimately the priest's
body surfaced, confirming that he, like Elvis, had left the
building.

The kicker? It's a Double Darwin. Catholic priests take vows
of celibacy. Since they voluntarily remove themselves from the
gene pool, the entire group earns a mass Darwin Award. Adelir
Antonio wins twice over!

Obviously not a Jesuit priest...

Damn!

John Updike, one of the premier novelists of the generation immediately prior to mine, has died at 76, from lung cancer, according to his publisher, Alfred A. Knopf. At least, that's the AP report in this morning's The Advocate.

I think Updike and Truman Capote were the first "adult" novelists I took note of in my early teens. He had a way about his words that just sucked me in and carried me along. I didn't understand all the nuances of his language then. But I did recognize the import thereof. That is getting to be a long time ago. Damn!

Rest in peace, John. Rabbit is finally at rest.

Life List: Have You Ever...

This meme was over at Patrick's Place and Simon's the Simian Farmer so I thought I'd give it a whirl, too. On second thought, change the first line to "Monkey See, Monkey Do"...

bold = done it
italics = want to
strikethrough = don't want to
Plus snarky comments

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars. I prefer a tent - usually there's too much dew (or frost).
3. Played in a band. Alto Sax in junior high - both marching band and orchestra.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland. But I have been to DisneyWorld...
8. Climbed a mountain. Several of them, in fact. Actually ran back down from Chimney Pond at Katahdin, too.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning. More times than I care to count.
17. Walked to the top of The Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked. Twice across the US and once across Canada.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. But of course, I was severely stressed, so really, they were "mental health" days.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb. I prefer to eat them.
26. Gone skinny dipping. In a farmer's pond next to US Rte 2, outside Plainfield, Vermont, in full view of the road.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person. I've even done the "Maid of the Mist"!
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. Someday I'll make it to Ireland and Germany.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen the Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. I miss it, but with only one functional lung...
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theatre. My second time was in a drive-in.
55. Been in a movie. I was in some home movies as a kid...does that count?
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business. It failed.
58. Taken a martial arts class. Although, I'd like to do Tai Chi.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check. My own damn fault, too.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone. Several.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car. Only once ... that was enough.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby. Wrong gender.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a mobile phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Feel free to participate, but feel no obligation, either.

Patrick, over at Patrick's Place, had an interesting entry yesterday about the proposal before Congress to delay implementation of Over-the-Air (OTA) digital television broadcasting (DTV). While I am in general agreement with his assessment, to a point, there are elements his entry doesn't address. Read this entry then come back...

The problem for the very poor is different than the problem(s) for the rural customer. As noted in other discussions, many rural and fringe area customers simply were unprepared for the not insignificant expense of installing an external antenna with rotor and signal amplifier in order to receive the distant station(s) they are accustomed to receiving now. Quite frankly, neither am I.

My camp is a case in point. There is no satellite window to the SW due to a thick forest cover and a ridge. Cable is unavailable. No broadband service is available. That leaves me with the choice of obtaining a zoning variance (fat chance) to install a 100 foot tower capable of supporting over 150 lbs of antenna, rotor and cables and then spending some two to ten thousand dollars for the antenna and all the rest, or, do without. In my case, there isn't a choice. I haven't got that kind of money to spend on television that I might watch for five months out of the year for one or two hours in the evening. What with Jay Leno leaving late night TV, that viewing time may be cut by another 5 hours a week (my wife HATES Conan and Dave).

I am sympathetic to broadcasters who must bear the burden of the additional expense(s) of operating analog and digital transmitters. I am also sympathetic to those facing the loss of OTA TV with no possible replacement, for whatever reason. In my case, I'd signed up for the government's discount card to be delivered last February. If you've been following my blog, you know that was a serious mistake - I didn't get back to my domicile until July. By then the card had expired. The expired cards went into the trash and I reapplied, only to be told that the guvmint wouldn't issue new ones. Then they turned around and rescinded the expiration. By then, they were long gone in the landfill -- SOL again. I ended up having to buy a converter box at full price or do with out any OTA TV at home or in my trailer. Suffice it to say, I only bought one box and swap them from the trailer to the house as needed. Watching from bed at night, from the kitchen in the morning or out in the shop will be impossible. Tough luck for the local broadcasters - another customer gone. And forget public television - those cows decided they'd concentrate only on the more populous areas to the south of us - we no longer get their signal. Sorry MPBN - there goes my contribution.

So, I selfishly applaud the idea of requiring dual broadcasting. It is, after all, the public's airwaves. Broadcasters must either provide for the needs of all of the viewing public or pack it in and start selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door.

Disenfranchising some 6.5 million citizens is politically unthinkable to Congressional Democrats and the new administration. Republicans with rural constituents will either provide more time for conversion to digital broadcasting or face a backlash at their next attempt at reelection.

There really isn't a middle ground.

And so it goes...

And what would you do?

I'm trying to enroll in an EMT course at LSU I need to obtain a job with the local EMS. Doesn't look like it is going to happen. I graduated high school in 1968 from a small church school. Last time I actually used the diploma was to confirm graduation for a job I was hired for in 1989. Just about the same time that my school closed it's doors forever.

Flash forward about 10 years. I tried to find said diploma for a new job and made a horrifying discovery. Squirrels (yes, those nasty rats with fuzzy tails and a good P.R. firm) had invaded the box those documents were kept in out in the garage and amused themselves while nesting by chewing everything in the box into confetti! I was fortunate the last time I had a job requiring confirmation I'd graduated as the boss accepted my word on it. Faceless bureaucracies. like a college admissions department, don't.

Hence the dilemma which prompts the question in the title. EVERY job I have looked at lately requires certified confirmation of HS graduation. All the colleges and EMT courses down here require the immunizations record (I think this is a federal law geared primarily to prevent children from engendering an epidemic -- not to keep us over-the-hill-and-twice-as-moldy types from taking a few college level courses). Heck, even the Coast Guard wants certified copies of HS diploma or an original. And of course, they want a record of every freaking immunization I have had since birth. Certified by an M.D. no less.

I'm so screwed...

Bad Bob and Handler

BAD BOB
Texas Renaissance Faire
November 20, 2008

We Made It!

After the weather gods finally let us loose from the sub-zero blizzard followed by nearly Spring-like monsoons accompanied by extremely high winds, we had a false start involving missing trailer brakes that suddenly reappeared and didn't bother the rest of the trip, we would have made it to Maryland in near record time - except for the pea-soup New Jersey smmog that forced a layover for 12 hours. Nevertheless, we made it on Sunday. After a nice visit with my Uncle and Aunt, we took off on New Year's Day afternoon and arrived here in Louisiana this evening! We even squeezed in a nice visit to Mystic Springs Airstream Camp yesterday on the Florida panhandle.

Off to bed, I'm beat. More on the flip side.

Best Wishes

Still packing. DirecTV, phone & DSL canceled. Pipes to be drained in the morning. I think we'll get out of here REAL SOON NOW. We're broke with just enough cash for tolls and a gas credit card to get us there. Wish us luck. We'll need it.

We'll be silent here for a while, most likely. Therefore, be good to yourselves and have a Merry Christmas. Or, if you prefer, Happy Festivus, Kwanzhaa, Channukah, Solstice, Pot Luck Sup for the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We hope you have a wonderful holiday season, no matter what you do or don't believe in, on or about. Have a happy. I'll try to post from Maryland else it'll be after the new year.

Toodles!

Hard Driving Seventeen Inches...

No, Silly. Not me. The blizzard!

Yep, still stuck in Maine. Up to my knees in snow after enduring 30-40 MPH winds driving 17" of the white stuff. It wasn't fit for a flea on a South-fleeing mule. Temps in the teens and the wind chill in the negative numbers.

I know how cold it was . I worked out in it for several hours trying to get ready to leave.

Everything takes four times as long as normal and exhausts me.



Anyway, still here. Still cold. Very, very broke.

Bah humbug.

Anyone for an omelet?

Still here in Maine, where it is less than 20°F and falling with 5 or 6 inches of new snow. SWMBO and I have taken turns being sick with colds and then severe bronchitis which has made departure for sunnier climes impossible. In the meantime, there's always the local daily to amuse me:

Nearly 260,000 eggs stolen in Maine

By The Associated Press

TURNER, Maine — Maine State Police asked authorities throughout New England to be on the lookout for an unmarked truck hauling eggs without the proper paperwork as they investigated the theft of nearly 260,000 eggs from a Maine egg farm.

An estimated 259,200 eggs, stacked on 24 pallets and worth about $25,000, were stolen from the Quality Egg Farm of New England in two separate incidents...

Click the title to read the rest of the story.

Remnants of the buck. Note the tipping of the bumper down - not supposed to do that.

Frontal view with forensic samples. Note cracked light frame; missing skirt behind bumper.

Close-up of busted lenses and frames. Too sick with my wife's cold to go around to the body shops today. Maybe Monday.

Got My Deer...

At approximately 5:07 PM, EST (well after sunset in these parts) I bagged my deer for the year. A buck, about 225 pounds, jumped out into the middle of Broadway near Kenduskeag Avenue. I was trapped in a long line of cars heading out of town (what passes for rush hour around here). No where to go. An oncoming vehicle swerves, then skids into and back out of my lane...

KerBLAM! One second I'm minding my own business and the next I am turning off into a woods road to get out of traffic. I was just thankful the fellow behind me didn't ram me - I had two 30 gallon propane tanks strapped in the rear of the Suburban I had just had filled. Would have been a spectacular blast, that's for sure. I'd have been naught but smithereens, too.

Anyway, went out and took an initial look. Dang it - busted lenses. Went back around to get a flashlight and I can hear thrashing just off the road in the woody verge. No gun. Of course. Look down the road. No one else has stopped. Guess the other car didn't think they hit the deer.

Examined the front end. Not only are the lenses busted, but the interior housing is probably cracked, the plastic interface between the grill and front bumper is shattered and the mounts for the bumper are now smushed. I suspect other components of the energy absorbing front end are probably requiring replacement, too.

More thrashing and bleeting from the woody verge.

Being the possessor of enlightened self-interest and self-preservation, I sat my ass back in my truck and considered what to do. Potential for repairs to exceed the $1000 threshhold for mandatory accident report about 70%. So I dial 9-1-1 and go through the whole song and dance. Dispatcher refuses to believe me when I specify the city police - she asks for details as to where I am. Finally convince her all I need is someone from Bangor P.D. to come by so I can file an accident report.

It'll be a while. Sit tight.

About 30 minutes later a car pulls off behind me, turns on some blue strobe lights and a face appears at my driver's side window, inquiring whether I am OK. After a short discussion, it is pretty obvious that said police officer wasn't dispatched to my site - he was just driving by. In point of fact, he isn't from Bangor P.D. at all -- just a nice young (oh my, how very young he is) Maine State Trooper.

Trooper Bean then inquires as to the extent of damage - I do my song and dance and we both go to the front of the vehicle and look it over. He doesn't think it'll top a grand, so he calls Bangor P.D. and cancels them, then goes into the woods (we could still hear the deer in there) and dispatches the injured animal with his service automatic.

Later, back at his cruiser, he inquires if I want the meat. No tarp in the 'Burb and fully carpeted, and no plans to leave any power on in the house when we head out to the South lands. So, the local homeless shelter will be the beneficiary of my misfortunate meeting with Herr Buck and Trooper Bean.

Pictures of the truck damage after daylight. Maybe. I didn't take any of the deer - too P.O.'d

Yes, I am just fine - merely annoyed and dreading dealing with the insurance company, body shops and all before being able to leave -- snow is forecast for Sunday, darn it. Next week looks to be poor for traveling, too.

And So It Goes...

As Dax Says, "Just Damn!"

Fine Print: This photo captures my body's reaction perfectly. From the Flickr photostream of professional photographer The Ziegelofen, "Goosebumps". All rights remain with the copyright holder(s). Fair use for illustrative purposes of the subject matter, freaking cold temperatures. Model unknown and presumed to be of an age appropriate to deciding to expose herself to the world via the Internet. Your mileage may vary. Beware of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.




That's Dax Montana for the uninitiated. And his signature saying so applies doubly to the weather today. Awoke to the trailer rocking and a bitter 16° F. Sadly, the forecast low for tonight is in the single digits.

What in the name of the Flying Nun's Panties am I still doing in Maine at these temperatures?

I am having a horrible time getting out of town and the departure date keeps receding with the growth of the glacier in my driveway from running water 24/7 to keep from freezing pipes in the Airstream.

Just Damn!

Christmas Decoration From Hell

Do check out this entry by John Cole: Pig Ignorant Religious Nuts

A classic case of the failure of the Christian Right to grasp the least inkling from history.

Yeah, I want a flaming, freaking cross on my lawn this year, for sure!

Where's my sheet?

More HUMOR From The Mailbag

WARNING: New Scam

I do not normally send around e-mails on issues like this....but be warned...

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into Polo Park for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your bags into the trunk. They both start cleaning your windscreen. Their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It's impossible not to look especially with all the rain we have been having.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say "No" and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case Canadian Tire on St. James. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen Oct 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, and again on the 17th. We are now into Nov and those little vixens fooled me again on the 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, again last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Sears has wallets on sale for $2.99 each