Thursday, December 06, 2007

More Pissin' and Moanin'

Via my stepson Daniel comes this somewhat technical joke I found amusing:



THE PSYCHIC DOG AND THE TELEPHONE


A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report that her
telephone failed to ring when her friends called. She explained that on the
few occasions when it did ring, her dog would moan loudly just before her phone
rang.


The telephone repairman proceeded to the farm, eager to meet this psychic
dog. Although, he was somewhat concerned that the problem was really just a
senile woman.


Upon arrival, he climbed the pole, hooked in his test set and dialed the
subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring at first, but then the dog moaned and
the phone could be heard ringing.


Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:



  1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain
    and chain link collar

  2. The ground wire connection to the ground wire was loose

  3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current whenever the number was
    called

  4. After a couple of ringing jolts, the dog would start moaning, presumably
    from the discomfort of being shocked, and then would urinate

  5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, allowing the telephone to
    ring.

All of which just goes to show that yes, some problems CAN be fixed by pising
and moaning.


Finalized the repair plans to the trailer yesterday. Neither the local shop nor the manufacturer's service department in Ohio would be able to see us until after the seasonal holiday period. Given my growing distaste for snow and cold weather, I decided that having to stick it out here in sub-tropical Louisiana beat the heck out of freezing my ass off in the parking lot at Airstream in Ohio in two foot of the white crap (with more on the way). I guess we'll just have to let my house freeze this year. Miss our dog, though. She's having an adventure as guardian of a young lady about to have twins! Looks like Willow the Wonderdog will be around for the blessed event! Sorry about that, DG.


Send your cards and gifts to the Olddog via Thibodeau's Gator Farm, Bourne de Bayou, Louisiana, attention to "Old One Arm Willy."


Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A Walk On The Wild Side

Still in Louisiana and probably will remain here another few weeks trying to get the trailer repairs completed so I don't fill it full of ice and snow when I return to the North Country. Meanwhile, Mary sent this wee bit of humor in this morning's email and I thought I'd share with y'all...

"I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his answer, knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye lash in response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."


There you go - a wee bit of humor. Hope it brought a smile to your hard-hearted, world-weary, "I-hate-Christmas-Bah Humbug" lips. It did mine. :)