Monday, February 22, 2010

To everything there is a season

Severe thunderstorm last night brought beaucoup lightning, crashing thunder, downpours and hail. All but the last, I enjoy, so long as I'm not standing outside -- I attract lightning. But hail? Oh my. When you live inside the 25' equivalent of a Bud Light can, hail is like having a paper shredder headed for your latest novel -- the one you wrote in longhand on yellow legal pads and haven't a copy of, yet.

Earlier on in the evening, the weather forecasters let loose with the prognostication that "baseball-sized" hail might accompany the storms. Then, as it got closer, they ratcheted things up with the "T-Word" . Right, tornado. To make matters worse, the discussion of hail became reports of actual "basketball-sized" ice chunks falling over farmland to our southwest. Hmm, I doubted that one -- turns out the forecaster had mistyped and meant to use the well -worn cliche of "baseball-sized" ice chunks. Still, considering that hail falls at near terminal velocity I wouldn't want my aluminum-skinned home coming in contact with it, don'tcha know?

Any way, I got unassed from the lounger, brought the dogs inside and went out and woke my wife, SWMBO. Suffice it to say she was MOST UNHAPPY having her slumber disturbed. Still, damned if you do, damned if you don't -- I err on the side of caution. She'd rip me a new one if she woke up inside the trailer during a major hail event.

The severe weather arrived with, thankfully, just a leading edge of sub-penny sized hail. That onslaught lasted less than 20 seconds and "we escaped unscathed", as they say. Meaning, it might have put some minor dings in the roof but you can't see them. Farther north and east of here, they had some significant damage with trees and wires down and flash floods. We just got a bodacious light show with a subsonic (and sonic) shakeup.

That's the payment extracted for the warm, humid 70° F. day we'd had on Sunday.

Before you get too excited, snowlanders, consider this, headed my way tomorrow night and Wednesday morning ...

A storm system moves out of the southern Rocky Mountains tonight and passes through southern Texas Tuesday.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Fire Truck Wheelie

If I ever caught one of my firefighters doing this...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Just SO Wrong...

My wife, aka SWMBO, out flashing her boobies for beads at the Spanish Town XXXPress Yourself Parade yesterday. Got a sunburn. Serves her right...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Raptor Devours Cheerleader

Just that title caught my attention ... the video simply cracks me up. I saw it at Boing Boing. Where or how they saw it?

Snowmageddon? No, Sneaux Day!

Baton Rouge, LA:

Y'all heard the one about the Louisianian quitting and moving to Hawaii? He'd only read the opening line of this news story.

I come here to the Sportsman's Paradise State every winter not for the fishing, but for the lack of shoveling. The absence of icy driving conditions and power outages due to ice and snow are the cherry on top.

Not so, yesterday. A heavy, wet, icy blanket covered the outlying parishes and the roads were sloppy as hell as I made my way to the clinic so my SIL could have a steroid injection in his back to relieve the pain of severely strained muscles caused by a woman deciding to make a left turn in front of his ambulance while he was responding Code 3 to an emergency.

Admittedly, it was all over by the time we exited the clinic. Roads were clear and temperatures were edging towards the forties. Still, it was a very unpleasant reminder of why I no longer choose to make my home in Maine during the winter.

For those of you digging out of the monstrous snows across the middle of the country recently, you have my sincere sympathy. Do try to squeeze out an alligator tear for my predicament. There isn't enough snow left to cool my ice tea...

Sneaux Day: The Baton Rouge Advocate's slideshow of scenes around the area yesterday is here.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Oatmeal Is At IT Again

The same folks who gave the Internet such classics as "How To Keep Mosquitoes Away From Your Buttcrack" and "The 5 Phases of Caffeine Intake" now bring you this:

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Not Yet...

Nothing funny about the shape the country's economy is in nor about the evisceration of human rights under the present administration. Nothing funny at all.

Via the J-Walk Blog via Minnesota Public Radio.

Monday, February 08, 2010

How Bizarre, How Bizarre ...

was that half-time show by The Who? Sad to see old rockers who should have retired from active performances years ago. When will my now-geriatric generation ever learn? Gee, Beyonce wasn't available?

This sums it up:

From David Bellavia: Hipster Douchebag: The CSI Super Bowl Halftime Show
But it’s been nearly 50 years. Kieth and John and gone, and Pete and Roger struggle on, more a cabaret act than a band. This doesn’t mean they don’t rock — they both own a stage better than any number of bands a third their age. But, for the last 20 years, they’ve been more about giving the people what they want than hoping they die before they get old.
It was sad. So very sad to see these two hopping about the stage on their arthritic knees and stainless steel hip replacements...

MIAMI GARDENS, FL - FEBRUARY 07: Musicians Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend of The Who perform during the Super Bowl XLIV Halftime Show at the Sun Life Stadium on February 7, 2010 in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Tony Barton/PictureGroup) via AP IMAGES

Sunday, February 07, 2010

The Living Will

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my beer.

They are such a**holes...

stolen from a post by HowieE on the Airstream Forums

Friday, February 05, 2010

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Armchair Quarterback Trophy = Precious

In the run-up to Super Bowl XX-whatever (an event one is unable to ignore, even though I AM living in the tincan equivalent of 'under a rock' in the backyard of the New Orleans Saints' "Who Dat Nation"), this trophy is a very funny, very appropriate and wickedly satiric icon of the foolishness that passes for "fandom" in this country. I even agree with Dinosaurs & Robots guest blogger Greg Allen regarding starting to do some sit-ups ...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I Don't See A Problem

The image above is someone's copyright image, no doubt. Whose, I do not know. It is presented here for the amusement of the handful of folks who check to see if I'm still alive. I lay no claim to either owning the rights nor do I have any intention of making one red, white and blue cent from the public display thereof. If you own the rights to this image have your legal beagles contact the law firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe, LLC and I shall cheerfully push the destruct button on this entry.

Monday, February 01, 2010

How low the Washington Post will sink to on a slow news day...

Hypothesis: We're going to Hell in a hand basket.

Proof: The Washington Post:

Sticky, smelly Bag Balm: Problem-salving for all