Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall

The best laid plans of mice and men oft gan aglaid – Robbie Burns

The plan was to go to THE major model railroad show in the Northeast for a few days of R&R, drooling over new hardware and gathering ideas for the soon-to-be-built layout. Clean clothes were in order, so I was rushing down the stairs with a load or two Thursday night, attempting to get to the laundromat (“washateria” for those who grew up South of the Mason-Dixon Line). One misstep about half way down the stairs and all dreams for the weekend away evaporated with a hard landing and the hyperflexion of my left knee and ankle. While I was very fortunate that nothing seems broken, I have been a hurting unit for the past few days. (While SWMBO was sympathetic to my plight and solicitous after my welfare, she admitted late last night that she was secretly pleased it was yours truly who bollixed up the travel plans. If it had been her, she reasoned, I'd have hated her for it. In my defense, I allowed as how I'd have been mighty disappointed, but it wasn't a “hating offense” so no harm, no foul.)

So I have been in an intimate relationship with some Vistaril and Vicodin the past few days as I licked my wounds (no mean feat when you are a stiff as I was) and contemplated making the rounds of the show next year.

So, dear readers, I'm back. Worse for the wear, even if I didn't really go anywhere. But ready to continue on, kvetching about this, complaining about that and just being a regular pain in the arse.

Happy February to you, too.

Weekend Assignment #96: Becoming Your Parents

Weekend Assignment #96: Becoming Your Parents

John Scalzi takes a moment from his hyper-author-on-tour schedule to observe, “And so, why exactly am I gesturing sternly with the finger? Why, I'm just trying to get into the mood of this week's Weekend Assignment, as suggested by Debbted:

Weekend Assignment #96: "For ladies: Name an incident when you thought: '"OMG I AM my mother! For guys: Same with your father!"

Extra credit: What did you parents do when you told them about it?”

Dear John,

You are in New York and Philly, I am off to unspecified locations. But, as a parting gesture to my adored readers (all seven of you – I love you all very much (sob!), I'll reveal this anecdote.

I was driving Matt and Kate back to Vermont to their father's home for a school holiday visit. Their mother was unable to accompany us due to work obligations, and the kids were feeling out of sorts. They often did whenever they changed residences. It just came with the territory.

They were working off their anxiety by sniping back and forth at each other. After a couple of hours of this my nerves were beginning to fray.

Once back on the interstate and within an hour of our destination, I was hoping the road hum would put both, or at least one of them, to sleep.

No such luck. Bickering escalated to all-out war as we got closer to our goal. My nerves were on edge from an all-day assault by coffee and adolescents.

I could take no more.

In an appropriate straight away, I hit the brakes and the car came to a screeching halt.

Now, there'd been some close calls in the past. Raising kids, there's bound to be. I've yet to meet a truly original human being, after all. But this time was different and I knew it practically before I opened my mouth and uttered these fateful words:

“If I have to stop this car one more time, out you go and you'll WALK THE REST OF THE WAY to your father's.

There it was, floating there in a sea of red for all the world to see. My very own repetition of my father's admonition, uttered time after time in frustration with three rambunctious boys cooped up in a car on a long trip. I knew I'd never be the same. I'd become a doppleganger of my father.

What a revolting development THAT was!

While my wife was alternately horrified and amused (she knew I'd do it if the children had pushed the issue), sadly, my parents were both dead and never got to see their mini-me in action.

And so it goes. Hope you brought enough sharpies.

All my love to Krissy and Athena. They both grow more beautiful every day, you lucky man.

wil

Have a great weekend, Ladies and Germs. I'll be back to regale you with new nonsense next week some time. Sooner, if it starts snowing. And its always snowing somewhere, isn't it?

Toodles!

Not being the owner of a lap top, I am writing today to tell you to stop by here sometime next week for new content. Personal business requires my focus elsewhere for a few days -- all is good. It's just I'll be out of touch even more than usual... as if you'll be able to tell, LOL. See you on the flip side.

Monday Mambo- Week 83

Ducky was heard to mutter around his Monday Morning Hangover, "Hi everyone! I have a very delicious Mambo for you today. Today is pie day! I don't know how that relates to music, but I'll figure something out!"

1. What's your pie of choice? Don McLean's "American Pie" or Warrant's "Cherry Pie"?

Make mine Don Mclean's "American Pie." It does invoke the feeling of "The South" for me.

2. If you could run up on stage and throw a big, messy pie in the face of any musician, who would it be?

Hmmm... I am of the firm opinion that it is a toss-up between Jewel, Britney Spears and Eminem. And the winner is: Britney Spears for Asshat of the Music World!

3. Name a few musicians who have fruits in their names. Fiona Apple, for example.

Blind Lemon Jefferson, Moby Grape, Banana Slug String Band, Milton Banana, Cozmik Orange, Don Cherry, The Notorius Cherry Bombs, and Watermelon Slim.

4. What's your favorite kind of pie?

Fresh Strawberry Cream Pie -- a figment of my fat-clogged arterio sclerotic imagination, these days. But, once upon a time, long, long ago, when you weren't even a mote in your Daddy's Eye, I'd kill in cold blood for a piece of The Governor's Strawberry Cream Pie.

The rules are, there are no rules!!! All you need to do is copy and paste the above questions into your blog and add your responses. After you've finished, return here and leave us a comment so we'll know you've Mamboed. Be sure your Mambo is linked back to http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com so others can dance too.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. If one of the questions doesn't inspire you then simply "pass" it. Just use your imagination and dance like crazy!

If you don't have a blog or you're an exhibitionist *woo hoo* feel free to Mambo right here in our comments section. There's absolutely no pressure ... although it's called the Monday Music Mambo you can Mambo on any day.

Until next time, this is your music-lovin' Mememeister saying have a good Monday and a good Mambo!

MEME: Monday Madness: What's In A Name?

Otto is so busy getting ready for the Superbowl when all of her friends descend en masse to consume her famous Bacon Horseradish Dip that she is literally out of questions. To wit:

" Another week behind us... which brings us to Monday again. And you know what THAT means! It's Monday Madness time again. Thanks for playing, and have a marvelous week! =)

This week (since I'm fresh out of new ideas), I thought I'd ask you to use the letters in your name (first, last, middle, or other) to list words that describe you!"

W-Witty
I-Ill-proportioned
L-Lusty

There you have it. No sweat when there's only three letters in your name. And you can play along, too. Just swing by the House of Madness and copy this week's question(s), write up you answers in your blog, and post a link to your answers in the comments back there. For goodness sake, if you have any good questions, send them to Otto for use in future editions of Monday Madness.

MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 21

Last week's Sunday Seven had you hobnobbing with past presidents and grilling them about any subject you wanted answers to. Fortunately, I didn't ask you to list your questions for any of them...that might have been interesting, if potentially explosive! This week's question takes a completely different direction...and for some of you, it'll really put you in the fast lane.

Last week, Carly of " Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly ," was first to answer the question. Congratulations, Carly!

Here we go! You're in the driver's seat!

THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
List up to 7 "dream cars" you'd like to own if money wasn't a factor. You don't have to necessarily choose the most expensive cars in the world, but just don't let cost be a factor in your decision. (Cars can be new or classic.)

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

Well, money being no object, I'd like a Mercedes Uni-Mog with all the great attachments: snow blower, backhoe/loader rig, camper back with winch... it'd be about a million bucks worth before we were done. Next in the stable would be an H1 Hummer, all tricked out with all the goodies including a .50 caliber machine gun and the laser cannon on the hood. A Stanley Steamer – just because. A 1972 SAAB Sonnet. A Porsche Boxer – any year. A late model Mercedes Benz diesel station wagon. And, finally, a Morris Minor woodie wagon from the 50's. I'm all about utility and going long distance in style and comfort rather than speeding my way there – most of the time.

Saturday Six - Episode 93

Saturday Six - Episode 93

Here we go with another edition of questions. If you have a Reader's Choice Question you'd like to see included, be sure to drop Patrick a line!

Before this week's questions, it's time to recognize the first person to play last week. According to the rules, to be considered "first to play," you must be the first one to either answer questions in the comment or post the link to the specific entry in which you've answered the questions. The first one to do that, for the second week in a row, was Betty, of " Of mini-paws and menopause ." Congratulations, Betty!

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. Do any of your friends, family or co-workers know about your blogs? For those that do, did you tell them or have they stumbled upon it by themselves? I've told my family and friends about my blogs. It's certainly not a secret... my wife reads on occasion and my stepdaughter reads frequently.
2. How did you come up with the title of your blogs?
Too much booze one night, I suppose.
3. Do you prefer to have many projects going on at once or do you prefer multitasking?
What's the difference? I prefer neither but must live my life, as most do, with many balls in the air at once. I just don't like it.
4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What high school stereotype are you?
I suspect it's a college major: Philosophy. Which was one of my majors in college, so no surprise there.
5. What was the hardest thing to master when you were learning to drive?
How to reload and control eight reins at the same time while dodging the flaming arrows...
6. How well did you do with that one thing on your very first driver's exam?

I passed, but the examiner suggested I work on it some more or I'd be spending all of my time in court defending against speeding tickets...

If you have a Reader's Choice question you'd like to see asked (and answered), click the e-mail link on the About Me bar at Patrick's Weekender and send it to him.

MEME: Unconcious Mutterings #155

Week 155

22 hours, 8 minutes ago

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Alone::Solitary
2. Science::Mathematics
3. Deposit::Return
4. Faithful::Dog
5. Tender::Mercies
6. Chocolate::Vanilla
7. Homework::Lessons
8. Tamper::Sabotage
9. Friend::Lover
10. Wire::Drawn

Go ahead ... Click Me:

The Perfect Major

No thanks to Patrick and Pammy...

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Philosophy 100% English 92% Mathematics 92% Journalism 75% Theater 67% Biology 58% Chemistry 58% Engineering 58% Psychology 50% Linguistics 50% Sociology 42% Anthropology 42% Art 33% Dance 25% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

Weekend Assignment #95: The Best Money You Ever Spent

Welcome to the first of five Journaler-suggested Weekend Assignments, leading up to the 100th Weekend Assignment a few weeks from now. This week's special Weekend Assignment was suggested by Teeisme57:

"My ex-husband always said the best 10 bucks he ever spent was buying his dog, Ace, from the local animal shelter. What's the best money you've ever spent? Whether it's something you love, something you use all the time or something that doesn't owe you a nickel, what is it?"

"Extra Credit: Aside from food, what's the next purchase you plan to make?"

Dear John,

It must be nice to be a young man of comfortable means, sitting in a convention center, swilling good scotch and chatting up intelligent, comely women and dark, handsome men. Obviously, you have no personal experience of that. No ... you go to Detroit to get licked on the head by a kilt-wearing, drunken buffoon! Where in heck was Krissy? Or was she being threatened with similar tonsorial attention?

Actually, I'm just jealous, that's all. Instead of schnoozling my brain cells in good scotch, I'm here in the north country battling the ravages of Old Man Winter's ... floods? Yesiree boobylinks, that's right. Floods. We've bare ground, temps in the 40's and 50's this past week and more rain than you can shake a stick at. And it's all your fault! That's right, your fault. According to the local weather gurus, all of this wet weather has originated in the Ohio River Valley and so, I am holding you, Johan Sebastian Periwinkle Scalzi, personally responsible. Lord knows that FEMA hasn't a sou nor farthing left to deal with disasters, so it's going to eat into those advances for the Rough Guide To Toilet Books, for sure. Well, that's enough good news from the home front. I'll expect your check right quick. Just make it out to Wilhelm Pendergast Periwinkle III, Esquire, and I'll see it gets to the right place.

So you vant to know what's the best money I've ever spent? That'd have to be the $100 and two days sweat equity I spent cleaning out a professor's basement back in college. In lieu of wages and in consideration of the princely sum I expended, I became the proud owner of a Magna Industries' Mark V Shopsmith! While in need of some TLC, it was complete and in remarkably good condition, considering the good professor and his wife had built and furnished their home with it.

I've had that Shopsmith for almost 36 years now. I can't count the number of boards cut or ripped, spindles turned, holes drilled, items sanded and polished or edges jointed. About 1989 I replaced the motor and drive belt. About a year later I added the band saw attachment. But in total, it hasn't cost me $600. Not bad for something I would have to spend almost $3700 for today.

Now go get your dancing shoes on and show us how you do the Watusi, “Wet Head Scalzi” style...

And so it goes,

wilhelm

X.C. A treadmill. Go ahead, laugh.

Phew!

© 2006 Blethen Maine Newspapers Inc.

Staff photo by Jill Brady

Against the wind, Dora Graham Nelson, Christine Haslam and Tracy Mitton make their way back from a coffee shop Wednesday in Monument Square in Portland.

High winds and driving rains nearly blew the old dawg away yesterday. I don't have the weather station installed here at the house (soon, soon), so can't tell you what the maximum gusts were here. But, according to an article on the web site of the Bangor Daily News, unofficial gust recordings of 54 MPH (120KPH) occurred. According to the NOAA National Weather Service site, down the road a piece at the airport they clocked a 57 MPH (127 KPH) gust and wind average sppeds of 37 MPH. I wouldn't be really surprised if same or similar occurred here. We didn't lose power, but lots of folks in-town did. Just lucky, I guess.

According to WABI- TV 5 news, “The strongest gust recorded Wednesday was 76 miles per hour near Matinicus rock.”

And so it goes in Vacationland, where the local tourism board proclaims, “Maine, The Way Life Should Be.”

Music Video of the Week

I'm not a big fan of "country music." I have some Willie in my collection and some Lyle Lovett, but that's about it. One artist I don't have, but wish I did, is Johnny Cash. He was one of the first performers I ever bought, back in 1963, I think, I bought a 45 rpm disk of "Ring of Fire." However, good as that was, it doesn't hold a flame when compared to his last work, "Hurt." It is a classic. Even if you hate the thought of "country music" I suspect you'll appreciate the song and, in particular, this video. It brings tears to my eyes every time I see it. Man, I wish I could write like this.

Hurt
By Johnny Cash
CodesAndLyrics.com

I hurt myself
today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only
thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar
sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what
have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away
in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I
will let you down
I will make you hurt

I
wear this crown of thorns
upon my liar's chair
full of broken
thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the
feelings disappear
you are someone else
I am still right
here

what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I
know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my
empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

if
I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I
would find a way

MEME: Tuesday Two

Tuesday Two - Episode 14

Time for another Tuesday Two! For those who have never played, the rules are simple: I offer two different questions, both related to the same topic, but you only choose one of them to actually answer.

Last week, Jamilyn of "ParkHopper's Quiz Central" was first to answer last week's question about Sports. Congratulations, Jamilyn!

Now, onto this week's choice of questions. And remember: don't answer both questions!


THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: BLOGGING

QUESTION A:
Not counting spam, have you ever deleted a comment to your blog, or can you imagine a situation besides spam in which you would? Would you feel bad about doing so?

or

QUESTION B:
Is blogging truly a forum for discussion, or does it still boil down to being about what the individual writer wants it to be about? Why or why not?

Choose A or B, (indicate which question you're answering!) then either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

Remember: choose one or the other...not both!

Yes, I have deleted a comment or two in the past, and not just the repeat posts and spams. Back when The Daily Snooze was hosed on AOL, it was hit by some homophobes after an entry expressing my views concerning a proposed "gay rights" measure appeared as a referendum question on the ballot in Maine. I'll always tolerate a difference of opinion, but when a comment devolves into invective against a entire class of people, I draw the line and get out the editorial axe. This isn't instapundit -- I haven't any desire to become the (physical) target of Micheal Heath's minions (Executive Director, Christian Civic League of Maine).

I did feel bad, but threats of castration or worse needn't be tolerated under the guise of "discourse."

I also had a problem with a "troll" that resulted in deleted comments. Usually I ignore them ("Please don't feed the trolls!" is one of my mottos, but this one had devolved into nasty emails, name calling and the like and I just wanted to be quit of the whole problem, so * snip * ).

Sunday Seven - Episode 20

Last week's Sunday Seven gave you the chance to choose a group of comedians with whom you wouldn't mind being trapped in an elevator for a while. There are worse ways, I suppose, to spend your time. This week's question, depending on your political persuasion, could create similar opportunities for humor.

Last week, Nelle of " Copious Chatter ," was first to answer the question. Congratulations, Nelle!


THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
You can have fifteen minutes each with up to seven past presidents of the United States. You can ask them anything you like, and they are required to be honest in their answers. Which former presidents would you choose?

Either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

1. Alexander Hamilton
2. Franklin D. Roosevelt
3. Abraham Lincoln
4. Theodore Roosevelt
5. Ulysses S. Grant
   
6. John F. Kennedy, and the object d' derision
7. George W. Bush.

The question they'd have to answer would be, "Given your vast experience and differing perspectives, rate the presidency of George W. Bush and explain why you graded him as you did."

"George, you get 15 minutes to think about what you have heard, then you can go home to Texas and NEVER SAY ANOTHER WORD IN PUBLIC."

MEME: Monday Madness

Monday, January 16, 2006

Ms. Otto woke suddenly, a pressing need driving her upright, feet to the icy floor.

"Hmmm," she murmered to herself, stretching luxuriously, "There's something I'm supposed to be doing right now..."

Shuffling her way towards the coffee pot after completing her morning ablutions it came to her.


Monday Madness!

"Good Monday to you all! Let's fill in the blanks! As always, I want to thank you for playing my meme! =)"

1. Before I walk out the door, I always check to make sure I _turned off all lights and appliances and have my keys_.
2. I can't seem to catch up on my _paperwork_.
3. The one surface in my house that always seems to get cluttered fast is _anything flat_.
4. If I sleep past _1 PM_, I feel that I've slept in too late.
5. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to _get ahead of the bill_.
6. I hope to have my income taxes done by _April 15 this year_.
7. This year I'd like to make more time for _writin_.

Don't forget, you can play along too. Just go to the Monday Madness web site and snag some questions for yourself. Answer them in your blog and leave a link to your answers in the comments there. No blog? No problemo! -- just answer the questions in the Monday Madness comments section. You'll be very pleased with yourself if you do, and, by the way, that gassy, musty mouse taste can be banished by eating a canary.

Five Guilty Pleasures

So there I was, minding your business, scrolling through blog entries just trying to catch up on my most frequently read bloggers when I spy a meme over at Patrick's entitled Five Guilty Pleasures. As you might imagine, I was particularly horrified to discover I'd been tagged by Patrick to respond in kind. Oh no, Mr. Bill. Say it isn't so! Alas and alack, it is true. So, forthwith, five of my guilty pleasures...

1. Hot and Sour Soup. While I'm sure my cardiologist would die of a coronary at the mere suggestion, I could live on nothing more than fresh French bread and the nectar of the Pacific Rim – Hot and Sour Soup. There is nothing finer, save...

2. Steamed lobster. With drawn, clarified butter. And corn-on-the-cob. And ginger ale. And apple pie a la mode.

3. Steam baths and saunas. Back when I was in college, fighting dinosaurs just to get a crack at the Egg, I used to have a sauna in the backyard of the place I was renting. It was electric and expensive to run, but my, oh my, it was worth it. Nothing beats sitting for a half hour bare-assed nekid, swatting yourself with a birch bough, then rolling around outside in the snow, then running back in and tossing a couple of cups of water on the heater and starting all over again. Having a sauna is a definite chick magnet and practically a ticket to ride... WORD.

4. Ozone. Yep, the same stuff that's been destroyed by all the “greenhouse gases” emitted by industrialized nations. I like it when it's being generated by the electric locomotive of a model train. It smells “clean” and “fresh” to me. I feel energized when in its presence. Go figger...

5. Hershey's Milk Chocolate bars. I have been ordered by the medicos to stop smoking, eating, watching TV, working, and drinking. Wenching is a distant memory due to the alpha- and beta-blockers I consume daily. So I gave up wine, women and cigars. Food never passes my lips (kidding). I take five insulin shots a day. I watch what I eat (it only rarely moves. Still, I watch it on the plate, just in case...) But I do have a weakness. The previously cited HMC bars. I just can't help myself, diabetes or no... I gots to have my chocolate, precious. Pretty, pretty chocolate. I just has to.

   There you have them, five of my guilty pleasures. Now I am supposed to pick on five readers and have them reveal their own guilty pleasures. I am truly sorry for doing this, but I don't want “wee willy” to fall off or anything, so Pammy, Gerrit, Carly, Gail and John, let's see what stirs your embers and stokes the flames of desire for you'se guys.

   Yes, you're welcome.

UPDATE: Gail has her guilty pleasures on view for all to see.
Update 2: Gerrit lets rip with a few in this entry.

PBR

Professional Bull Riding

No, I haven't taken leave of my senses. But, on those occassions when I do watch TV on a Saturday evening, before and after I watch DIY's Workin' On The Railroad I often tune into OLN's presentation of the PBR. Now, if I miss a show, I can get caught up at this new blog by upstate-New Yorker Paintsmh's BuckinJunction. Give it a gander - you'll make a young lady a happy camper if you do. And you might learn a thing or two, too.

Monday Music Mambo - Week 82

S-sitting down by my window,
Oh, looking at the rain.
S-sitting down by my window now now,
All around I felt it,
All I could see was the rain.
Something grabbed a hold of me, honey,
Felt to me honey like, lord, a ball and chain.

Ball And Chain ~ Janis Joplin

The "Duck" was heard to quack the following as he nibbled his morning corn:

"Hi everyone! It's time for another Mambo, so get your dancing shoes ready. Today's theme is National Nothing Day. That's not good, because I need SOMETHING to ask you. So I'll focus this week's Mambo on the subject of wet weather - because that's what we've got here in your mememeister's living area!"

1. Name three songs that have the word "rain" or "water" in the title.
a. I Love A Rainy Night – Eddie Rabbit, b. I Wish It Would Rain Down – Phil Collins and Eric Clapton, c. Who'll Stop The Rain? - Creadance Clearwater Revival.

2. Ever been to a concert where it was raining? If not, is there a band or festival that you would want to see even if it meant standing in the rain?

I seem to recall sitting in the grand stand at the Bangor State Fair, rain coming down in buckets, waiting for Janis Joplin & BigBrother and the Holding Company back in the late-mid-sixties. The band wouldn't come out of the bus until it stopped raining as one of the guitarists had gotten “lifted” (ie. electrocuted) when he plugged in his axe. The session got underway late, under the lights of the racetrack as they'd cancelled the racing because the track was too wet and that made it unsafe for the horses. Gots to love agricultural shows – nevermind frying humans, but we can't have horses slipping in the mud...

3. You're a movie producer, and you need a soundtrack for a weather scene. Pick songs that you think would fit with the following pieces of action:

a) Clouds coming in - a hard rain's a-gonna fall – bob dylan
b) Rain starts to fall, wind starts to blow – Riders On The Storm - Doors
c) Sun finally comes along and makes everything better again – Here Comes The Sun – The Beatles.

“Duck” went on to say, “Ok, that's all the work I'll make your brain do for today.

The rules are, there are no rules!!! All you need to do is copy and paste the above questions into your blog and add your responses. After you've finished, return here and leave us a comment so we'll know you've Mamboed. Be sure your Mambo is linked back to http://bdinsanity.blogdrive.com so others can dance too.

Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. If one of the questions doesn't inspire you then simply "pass" it. Just use your imagination and dance like crazy!

If you don't have a blog or you're an exhibitionist *woo hoo* feel free to Mambo right here in [his] comments section. There's absolutely no pressure ... although it's called the Monday Music Mambo you can Mambo on any day.

Until next time, this is your music-lovin' Mememeister saying have a good Monday and a good Mambo!

MEME: Saturday Six -- Episode 92

Saturday Six - Episode 92

I am making an effort to post these questions earlier in the day. Four thirty in the afternoon is better than almost midnight Sunday morning, right?

For those who'd like to join in on the fun, playing is simple: you can either answer the questions in this journal or you can answer them in your own blog and leave a link. It is strongly recommended that you answer the journals in your blog and post the link...since several of the people who are playing have relocated away from AOL, it's important that everyone knows where your new (or temporary) blogging homes are, so if you don't mind, leave a first name and your journal's link, just so we can find you easier!

But before the questions, it's time to recognize the first person to play last week. According to the rules, to be considered "first to play," you must be the first one to either answer questions in the comment or post the link to the specific entry in which you've answered the questions. The first one to do that was Betty, of "Of mini-paws and menopause." Congratulations, Betty!

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. Do you generally tend to be early, late or right on time?
I try to be right on time to appointments. I hated “running late” when I was a CEO, even though it was a daily fact of life.
2. Did you belong to any clubs in high school? If so, which did you value the most?
The Journalism Club was probably the best choice I ever made.
3. Where was your favorite place to hang out when you were in high school? How often were you there and were you usually with friends or alone?
I used to love hanging out at a lunch counter in town. I was usually alone, but people I knew would sit with me when they came in.
4. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What chess piece are you? (Thanks to Charles.)

The White King You scored 2 Power-Finesse, 3 Leader-Follower, 2 Unique-Ordinary, and 3 Offense-Defense!

You are ambitious and want to press any advantage that you have. By using others, not doing it yourself. Occasionally you are more cautious, barricading yourself into a corner and letting your followers slug it out in the middle-- but if things are looking pretty bleak you're not afraid to jump in and finish the job yourself.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
							You scored higher than 0% on Power-Finesse
							You scored higher than 50% on Leader-Follower
							You scored higher than 25% on Unique-Ordinary
							You scored higher than 25% on Offense-Defense

Link: The What Chess Piece Are You Test written by Gundark27 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

5. When is the last time you played a board game and what game did you play? Did you win?
Years ago, it was Scrabble and I lost. Often.
6. You're called to serve on a jury. Would you rather sit on a capital murder case, a personal injury case, a wrongful death suit or a drunk driving case, and why?
I think I'd prefer the capital murder case. There's a lot of evidence, so you are bound to learn some things you didn't know before the case and a lot is riding on the outcome.
If you have a Reader's Choice question you'd like to see asked (and answered), click the e-mail link on the About Me bar at Patrick's Weekender and send it to him.

QUIZ: BaDaBing to you, too!

What's Your Stripper Song?

Your Stripper Song Is

My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas "Whatcha gonna do with all that junk All that junk inside that trunk. I'm a gonna get get get you drunk Get you love drunk off my hump " You get a lot more than Seven jeans for your humps.

What Song Should You Strip To?

via Cynthia

Stroke The Ego

Via Dax and witnit comes a link to a little ego massage:

We surfed for daily snooze, looking for links to dailysnooze.blogspot.com. This is what we found;

engine ranking ego points google.com 12th, and 13th 2795

Flu -- What To Do In Advance

Filling a Much-Needed Void - Avian Flu Preparedness Kit

Daddy Doesn't Live Here Anymore...

"My father moved out of the house yesterday. It's odd to see his room empty. It's odd to not
hear his keys hanging from his belt loop and jingle as he walks down the hall. I'd gotten use to him being here. I keep trying to tell myself that this is great because now I'll have an extra room to do something with. Maybe I'll set it up as a guest bedroom. Maybe I'll use it to put my treadmill and total gym in so I have an exercise room. Maybe hubby can use it as an office of his own. I keep telling myself that this is what would make Daddy happy and that maybe Jose and I will stop fighting now because of the things he does."

My buddy Raven has been on a tear lately, culminating in the entry from which I extracted the quote above. I don't know why, but it pushed my buttons and I fired off a multi-paragraphed rant of my own in her comments. Now I feel the ass. And in the land of AOL Journals, once you've committed to clicking the send button, there's no taking back the comment. So sorry, kiddo. Must have been low blood sugar, or just having one of "those days." Here's what I said, in all my assholeishness:

Your dad and I have been in the same boat. Booze, butts and women. Oh, and the bypass thingie in 2000, too. So I see this from his perspective. It's a difficult adjustment, but I know you'll be able to make it with a little time. Until then, put your employee discount to good use and buy him some smoke detectors (both radiation-reactive and photoelectric types) and install them for him in his new digs. "Just a house-warming present, Daddy. Because I love you," should do the trick. And then RESPECT his space. Daddys like to be loved, not nagged. A gentle query about what he's eaten is acceptable. Going into Sherlock Holmes mode and checking his garbage pail isn't -- unless maybe you empty the damn thing at the same time. Yes he knows that beer, booze and butts are not good for him. Despite your desire to have him around until 2121, he's obviously made a choice that will get him a ticket to ride much sooner. Respect the fact that he is an adult and may choose to do what he wants to until such time as dementia becomes so burdensome that he must be institutionalized. Then you can intervene, but not until. And if he chooses to hasten his shuffle off this mortal coil, again I urge you to respect that decision. Despite both my wife and I having worked with geriatrics, there's no way on this little green earth that either of us chooses to go to a nursing home. The sweet, cold barrel of a gun is far preferable to the treatment available now in nursing homes. I shudder, truly, to think about how very, very awful it will be in another 10 or 15 years when my grandchildrens' generation is providing the care. So, if we choose to "off" ourselves rather than face life in a "home" you best grow some compassion and understanding and respect the decision. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappoint[ment] and regrets where none are due."

There is nothing in it I don't believe. It's just she didn't need my load of crap dumped on her plate today. THAT is why I am contrite. And that's why I proclaim my stupidity for all to see.

MEME: MONDAY MADNESS – Burnt Toast Edition

Sunday, January 08, 2006

MONDAY MADNESS – Burnt Toast Edition

Still nursing an incredible week-long hangover, Otto was overheard to mutter into her “hair-of-the-dog-that-bit-her Bloody Mary”... “I want to thank coffeeNtoast for this week's excellent questions! Thank you so much for emailing me! (Suggestions are always welcome!) =)”

1. Name 1 type of supplement that you take.

Glucosamine & Chondriton
2. List 2 books that you would like to read in 2006.
From my Amazon wish list: and .

3. List 3 hobbies that you have.

Sea Kayaking, Model Trains (HO) and woodworking.

4. List 4 gifts that you have received.

Typewriter, computer, weather station and a genuine Filson Cruiser wool coat.
5. Share 5 (instant & inexpensive) ways to spruce up a room.

a. Drape scarves over the lamp(s), b. Posters!, c. Flowers!, d. a new throw rug and matching pillows, e. remove all of the furniture and turn it into a meditation parlor!

MEME: Saturday Six -- Episode 91

Saturday Six - Episode 91

I've been battling a cold/sinus double whammy this week, but I'm taking a break from my peppermint tea for another edition of the Saturday Six.

For those who'd like to join in on the fun, playing is simple: you can either answer the questions in this journal or you can answer them in your own blog and leave a link. It is strongly recommended that you answer the journals in your blog and post the link...since several of the people who are playing have relocated away from AOL, it's important that everyone knows where your new (or temporary) blogging homes are, so if you don't mind, leave a first name and your journal's link, just so we can find you easier!

But before the questions, it's time to recognize the first person to play last week. According to the rules, to be considered "first to play," you must be the first one to either answer questions in the comment or post the link to the specific entry in which you've answered the questions. The first one to do that was Donna, of "My Country Life." Congratulations, Donna!

Here are this week's "Saturday Six" questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal...but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as "first to play," you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. What is your most successful "home remedy" and how did you first hear about or discover it?
The use of “B&B”, ie. Bandy and Benedictine (a liqueur made by the Benedictine monks of Austria) as a cough medicine or calmative for hacking coughs from post-nasal drip. My father was the one who told me about it.

2. Do you ever use substitutes for food ingredients, like sugar or salt substitutes? If so, which do you use?

I sometimes use a salt substitute (Potassium Chloride, instead of Sodium Chloride – not really a salt “substitute” as both are classified as salts) and sometimes use Butter substitute (“Butter Buds”).
3. How often do you go to a mall or shopping center just to window shop, with no intention of actually buying anything?
Next to never. I avoid malls because of plagues and window shopping is anathema.
4. How often in those trips do you actually end up buying something anyway?
Never.
5. Take this quiz (if you haven't already!): What is your biggest social dysfunction?
The quizmaster seems to think I'm pretty screwed up. Fuck 'em – I don't know their credentials from a horse's ass and I'm not sure they do, either.

Your Social Dysfunction:Schizotypal You display social deficits and oddities of thinking. Your perception and communication are similar to those of a schizophrenic.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.

6. What possession would you most like to have by the end of 2006 that you did without in 2005?

A waterproof camera.

If you have a Reader's Choice question you'd like to see asked (and answered), click the e-mail link on the About Me bar and send it to Patrick.

Unconscious Mutterings

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

That's an admirable goal, but for the purposes of this excercise, we're just hoping to have a little fun with the technique. Each week I'll post ten words to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind.

"Rules are, there are no rules." There are no right or wrong answers. Don't limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head. AND you don't have to have your words up on Sunday. Take all week if you want! Read the FAQ for more information.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Week 153

14 hours, 33 minutes ago

I say ... and you think ... ?

1. Better off::wealthy
2. Girls::women
3. Uniform::school
4. Classified::Top Secret
   
5. Hard::To Do
   
6. Kitty::Hello
7. Team::Patriots
8. Massive::heart attack; stroke
   
9. Depressed::S.A.D.
10. Award::Oscar; S.A.G.
    

Please remember to use http://subliminal.lunanina.com when linking to Unconscious Mutterings. Thanks!

QUIZ: How Kinky Are You?

If the previous test didn't float your boat, perhaps this one will -- it worked for me because I'm:

Expert You scored 73% Kinkiness!

You've done all of the positions in most of the books, you've found out about safe-words and understood what I was talking about with the whole safe-sane-consentual. You've probably discovered at least the BDSM sites online, maybe even local groups and have been learning all about your favorite fetish. You enact those fantasies which aren't too taboo and play out in your head during sex the ones you aren't sure how your partner will react. Remember, communication is everything, they can always say no or ask for a compromise. You never know, they might hold the same fantasy in their head, afraid of how you'll react to it.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Kinkiness

Link: The How Kinky Are You Really Test written by monkeyqueen9 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

QUIZ: The Existential Lonliness Test

No man is an island (he's a peninsula!! - giggle, giggle) - But according to the quiz, I'm the real deal:

The Sage You scored 37 Socially Involved, 30 Alienated, 69 Contented and 14 Optimistic

You appear to have managed to find contentment in spite of not being heavily social, a tremendous feat for any human being. You're not lonely, so you don't need to spend time thinking of how you could have a better social life. Congrats!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Social Level You scored higher than 66% on Alienation You scored higher than 99% on Contentment You scored higher than 0% on Optimism

Link: The Existential Loneliness Test written by DarkenedOaks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

MEME: Monday Music Mambo

Monday Music Mambo - Week 80 <--- Go there to get your own Mambo questions and leave a link to your answers, matey!

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm back with a new Mambo for a new year. Let's get started!

1. What are some new artists you discovered in 2005?

I've rediscovered Jeff Beck and through him, Imogene Head. Then there's Morphine. Loreena McKennitt. And Medeski, Martin & Wood. All in the space of four hours or so this evening. All thanks to listener-supported Internet Radio Perfection.

2. What musical things are you looking forward to in 2006? Concerts, new albums, new toys, etc.

Nothing in particular – I'm not that plugged into the music scene anymore. These days, I'm merely a listener and a casual one, at that. I rely on folks like the Mambomeister to do the discovery and pimping so I know what to look out for as it passes me by.

3. What is one song you'd like to use to ring in the new year?

The Spring of '65 by the Holy Modal Rounders (Rounder Records) and So Early In The Spring (trad.) a la The Pentangle – Sweet Child (1968) in a musical mosaic. To me, the new year begins with the Spring Solstice.

4. What's your favorite musical instrument? Or, if you're like me, what are your top five musical instruments?

If I could have only one instrument, I'd choose piano. But if I had five to choose from, I'd have a tenor sax, both six- and twelve-string guitars, a Kobe flute, a piano, a string bass... oh, you said five, didn't you. I'll stop with six. Although, I'd really like to include a harp, bag pipes, harmonica, concertina and drums. Oh my, tablas and skin rings, kettle drums and bass drums and...

Gut Rumbles: i ain't believin' this

Gut Rumbles: i ain't believin' this
A wonderful cat rant issues from the mind of Acidman.

Sample from A Cat's Diary

DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. I must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repel these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

Blogger Buzz: Rich Editing in BlogThis!

Blogger Buzz: Rich Editing in BlogThis!

Did you know that you can easily post to your blog from any page on the web with our (newly improved) BlogThis! bookmarklet? They’ve just added the most popular buttons from our regular post editor without sacrificing the small size that make BlogThis! so convenient.

Check it and all the great stuff out at Blogger Buzz.

Tuesday Two - Episode 12

For those who have never played, the rules are simple: I offer two different questions, both related to the same topic, but you only choose one of them to actually answer.

Last week, Jess of "CIW: The Other Invisible" was first to answer last week's double question edition. Congratulations, Jess.

Now, onto this week's choice of questions. And remember: don't answer both questions!


THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: GOALS

QUESTION A:
If you could travel to your own future and see what has changed, what would you hope to see yourself doing ten years from now?

or

QUESTION B:
What is the New Year's Resolution that you actually kept most successfully, and how long ago did you make it?

Choose A or B, (indicate which question you're answering!) then either answer the question in a comment or answer it in your journal and include the link in a comment. (To be considered "first to play," a link must be to the specific entry in which you answered the question.)

Remember: choose one or the other...not both!

Ten years from now, I'd like to discover I am still breathing. Still able to take nourishment. Still able to get around under my own power without the use of mechanical devices. Still in possession of my faculties. Still driving with my laser cannon set for “Stun.” Really.

I'll be 65 in ten years. When I was born, the actuarial tables all said that'd be the average lifespan of a fellow born then. Now they claim it's 72! Talk about a moving target...

Genetically-speaking, I'm on the minus side of those actuarial guesstimates. No male on my father's side of the family has made it past 62 and I don't suspect my health issues will bring a different outcome for me. Still, one needs hope, just to get up each day with enough strength to face the world. So hoping for a future that includes me is what I do.

How about you?

Want to play along? Just visit Patrick's Weekender and snag a copy of the questions for yourself, write your response and leave a link to your purple prose in the comments there. You'll be glad you did, what with being filled with hope and all. And, as a never-to-be-repeated-bonus, you'll be gas-free for the entire day. Your cubicle-mates will thank you. Trust me.

Anniversitat Post-Mortio

Four years ago I died. Intentionally. And about this time of day I was in induced coma, packed in ice, "recovering" from open heart surgery. They'd done a (then) new variation on the Coronary Artery Bypass Graft. I was an "Off Pump" baby. Today, just four years later, the majority of CABGs are done "off pump" if the patient is hardy enough to stand the small amount of additional stress.

Fourteen days of ICU and cardiac ward care, a major dent in the morphine supply, countless hours striding around the ward in a boiling rage after the hourly administration of steroids to help my breathing, I was discharged to my wife's care. Thank goodness! I'd had several "close calls" as my caretakers attempted to kill me with the wrong drugs, misunderstood orders and swill I wouldn't feed pigs.

It only took six weeks until I was granted medical clearance to drive again. At three months, my pulmonologist confirmed what I'd suspected all along -- the nerves to the left side of my diaphragm had been severed or crushed during the operation, most likely when the spreader was deployed on my ribcage. While there's nothing in particular wrong with the lung, there is nothing to force air in and out, so it's half power from here on out. It is a common side effect of the operation and while I miss the lung capacity (I can't sing, whoop or holler anymore, mountain climbing and bike racing are no longer an option, too) I fault no one. Just the luck of the draw, I figure. Hell, the alternative is death in six weeks if I didn't have the operation.

And so it goes...

That's what I'm celebrating tonight. So lift a glass of whiskey, shout "Skoal!" and smash the glass in the fireplace. Life -- it's all good, even the bad. And it's the only life you have -- unless you get jumpstarted again.

Monday Madness: Word Scramble Edition

Nursing her hangover and very sensitive to sound, Otto was heard to whisper:

“Happy New Year to you all! This week we're going to try something a little different.

Using the letters in the words HAPPY NEW YEAR, give yourself 2 minutes to list all the words you can make.”

This is NOT good. I haven't eaten and the brain isn't firing on all cylinders...

Happy New Year

Happy New Year wean reap near yappy pear nappy ear pen pay heap wear ware yew ewe pew pap

Nineteen words. Not very good for a writer, was it? Hmm, maybe I should have had a sandwich...

Feel free to play along. Leave a link to your results over at Otto's Monday Madness web site and let me know how you made out!