Sunday, October 28, 2007

MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 113

How flexible are you when it comes to the brands of products you use? If you’re anything like me, you are very rigid about some products, like toothpaste, but a little more flexible when it comes to other products like laundry detergent. I’m going out on a limb, admittedly, with this week’s question, because I’m hoping that you might be able to come up with seven brands of a particular product that you’d use.

If you only stick with a single brand, then pretend that this brand is out of stock and you need to buy something different…just once.

First to play last week: Otowi of “Otowi.” Congratulations!

On to this week’s question!

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
Name the seven brands of shampoo you’re most likely to use.

  1. Prell

  2. Breck

  3. Selsun Blue

  4. Head & Shoulders

  5. Pert Plus Dandruff Formula

  6. Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo

  7. Dial Shampoo

MEME: Saturday Six - Episode 184

This week’s questions are a little bit of a departure. For one thing, there’s no quiz. (I may double up next week, but I’ll eventually make up for that.) But the bigger change that makes this set of questions unique is that for each one, you’ll have to choose the greater of two “evils” and explain why you chose that particular one. You might not see both options as an evil; or you might find it impossible to pick one as being significantly worse than the other.

But you should pick which you would find the most offensive, even if you agree with one’s right to take the action, label or position listed.

As always, there are no right or wrong answers…only your own opinions. Let’s give it a try!

First to play last week: Antonette of “Jottings From Jersey.” Congratulations!

Here are this week’s “Saturday Six” questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as “first to play,” you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. Which of the following two would you find more offensive if you saw it out in the open in a family restaurant: two men holding hands or a woman breast-feeding a child? Why? The image of the two men holding hands sprang immediately to mind. Probably because this is such a puritanical, straight-laced society here. One just assumes there will be no open displays of emotion by anyone at anytime in a public restaurant. It isn't the affection between men that is shocking, it is the open display of emotion that twists my knickers. It'd be just as bad if it was two women, a man and a woman, a boy and a girl, etc.

2. Which of the following would you find more offensive if you heard someone say it: a blond joke or a racial joke? Why? I take offense to racial jokes. Blonde jokes seem “normal” to me; they were a constant in our all-male household when I was growing into manhood. Even then, despite my father's rabid racism, it was a generally acknowledged rule of the house (between my brothers and I) that one did not joke about race. Once again, this was simply something one didn't do in polite society.

3. Which of these would you generally consider more offensive: An atheist who badmouths Christians, or a Christian who badmouths atheists? Why? Neither offends me – I am an atheist that badmouths Christians on general principles; my only living relative is a born-again Christian who has nothing good to say about Atheists. We agree to disagree. We both hold the other is full of malarkey and deserving of derision. And so it goes ... so forced to choose, why, I'd take offense with the Christian fools who have the temerity to badmouth Atheists in general and me in particular. Just because.

4. Which of the following ideas about a presidential hopeful would you find more offensive: that a woman shouldn’t run for president because a woman doesn’t belong in the White House, or that a black man shouldn’t run for president because a black man doesn’t belong in the White House? Why? As a general rule of thumb, I find women to be more likely to be knee-jerk reactionaries when threatened. If one MUST choose a reason to dislike one or the other exemplars, that'd be mine. I have a particular fondness for my life and peace; I don't need someone in office who is likely to act without careful consideration of the consequences and likely outcomes. We've just had eight years of that form of false bravado. Who needs another four?

5. Which of the following political terms or movements would you find the most offensive: “Pro-Life” or “Defense of Marriage”? Why? The latter strikes me as clutching at straws for the sake of contention for contention's sake. One is about fundamental perception of the so-called sanctity of life. While I disagree, I hold those individuals who do support such a position to have an ethical foundation. The latter is reactionary in the extreme to a perceived threat upon an artificial societal structure with no more importance than the number of leaves on a clover.

6. Which of the following forms of protest are you likely to find most offensive: an animal rights group’s members shedding clothes to encourage people not to buy fur, or a war protest group’s members burning the American flag to criticize war policy? Why? I don't find either offensive. Flag burning I find distasteful, but I recognize it is a protected form of protest. Same with the animal rights group's of removing clothing. I support nudity in general (see below). Given that I must choose for this exercise, I choose the animal rights groups as the most offensive, because they're a bunch of know-nothing liberals who haven't a clue about animal behavior, needs, nor an ethical position to stand on. There, I've chosen. Happy?

MEME: Unconscious Mutterings - Week 247


4 hours, 36 minutes ago

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Inaugural :: Ceremony

  2. Pledge :: Boy Scout's

  3. String :: ball

  4. Trot :: Canter

  5. Fitness :: center

  6. Cinder :: block

  7. Edge :: guard

  8. 31 ::

  9. Blue :: Lagoon

  10. Leather :: Bar

As of this writing, “31” has no significance to me; I may revisit that in future. If you'd like to play along, click this entry's title, above, and leave a link there to your answers on your blog.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

John M. Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #189: Amuse me, damn it!



Yeah, that's right. You amuse me for a change. Tell me a joke. Tell me a story. Show me a funny picture. point to a good online video game. Suggest a good book or movie. Link me to a diverting YouTube or AOL Video, like those soda/Mentos fountain things (but not that, I've already seen those). Anything, people, just as long as it's amusing. You know, something you think I would like. Like what, you say? Well, you know. Surprise me.

Extra credit: Share your favorite pun. I love me a good pun.


Dear John,

Fresh out of my own words. Picture and others' scribbles will have to do. Have a nice weekend. Yes, Athena, you're right. That is Uncle Wil's fat ass on his blog ... and your mommy is right. It is better call it a "derrière" or "fat butt" than "ass" but you know how rude I am.

wil

Getting squeaky clean the old fashioned way, au natural


Postus Scriptus Interruptus: On Puns ...

The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. ~Edgar Allan Poe, Marginalia, 1849
Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. ~Dave Barry, Why Humor Is Funny
A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely back to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he masterminded such a crime and then made such an obvious error, he replied,

"Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings....I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

A Belated Friday MEME: Friday Fill-In #43

1. The last good thing that came in the mail was _the final issue of Model Railroader (NTS: gots to renew that)_ .

2. This week I'm grateful for _not striking a match to check out the water heater in the trailer – the valve was leaking by..._.

3. _Lobster Pie_ is the most delicious thing ever.

4. _Walt Whitman_ inspires me.

5. I'm most happy when I _by myself_ .

6. And all the roads we have to walk along are _dangerous with high speed traffic_ .

7. As for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _rain_ , tomorrow my plans include _more rain_ and Sunday, I want to _get some laundry done and hung_ !


Sad state of affairs: When I asked the clerk at Burger King last night why they persist in asking whether the transaction will be cash or credit, she replied it was "Because we have to calculate your change in our heads if it is cash and the machine does it for credit cards." Bumfuzzled, I just drove away. Has BK taken to hiring psychics to work the drive-in lane so they'll know what bills and coins you'll be using in advance? What change does one concern oneself with when completing a charge card transaction? Finally, what's so bleeding hard about calculating change, anyway? Does no one teach their children how to count out change?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

MEME: Wednesday Mind Hump – Match, Point, Game


Hoist by my own petard – I suggested the match game. Oops!

Hello everyone! Welcome to Match Day on the Mind Hump. Match the band member to the band!

a. Tommy Shannon
b. Jack Bruce
c. Eddie Hazel
d. Jerry Douglas
e. Christine McVie
f. Joey Kramer

1. Fleetwood Mac
2. Funkadelic
3. Aerosmith
4. Cream
5. Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble
6. Alison Krauss and Union Station

My answers:

1e, 2c, 3f, 4b, 5a, 6d. - actually, with the exception of Jack Bruce, I had to look all of the rest up to be sure, although I was pretty sure about Jerry Douglas and almost sure about Christine McVie.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

MEME: Monday Music Mambo

Mememeister RFDuck isn't feeling the love this week:

"I'm going to do something a little different today. I'm not really liking the themes for this week (used car day and match day), so I'm going to pick my readers' brains and see what kind of themes YOU can come up with. So today's mambo will be:"


1. Name a few random songs you enjoy and want to recommend to others. With direction, a purpose or a goal, I'm fine. THIS question leaves me feeling like I am sinking in a whirlpool of choice, unable to even cip my hands to take a stroke – there's so many different ways to cup your hands, you know? Where Have All The Flowers Gone as sung by Peter, Paul and Mary is particularly piquant in light of recent history in Iraq. Jerry Garcia singing Friend of the Devil is always evocative for me. Maria Muldaur's It Ain't The Meat (It's The Motion) always brings a smile and a twinkle of the eye. Bob Dylan can move me to tears with Ain't Talkin' on the Modern Times album.

2. Give the mememeister one or two themes to use for future Mambos and Humps.

Want us to do your work for you, eh? Well, Russ, just to piss you off, how about one for “Used Car Day” – name all the car songs you can think of. And as to “Match Day,” take a hint from the old “Match Game” and name five songs you think that were better performed as a “cover” than by the original singer. Or, two columns, one songs, the other performers – match the songs to the performers.

I was feeling ornery today. Oh well, you can play by clicking the link above and be magically transported the the MEME: realm of memeister RFDuck and the Monday Mambo. Just don't forget your galoshes.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 112

If you’re like me, you hate the very thought of air travel. But for this week’s question, you’ll have to assume that you must fly somewhere. You can also assume that any airline that operates “normal” routes in the U.S. is available from your nearest airport.

Before first, Annie, of “Head in Knots,” was first to play last week. Congratulations, Annie!

On to this week’s question!

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
Name seven airlines you’re most likely to use if you were flying somewhere.

  1. El Al

  2. Delta

  3. United

  4. Alaska Air/Horizon Air

  5. Air France

  6. Pan American

  7. Quantas


MEME: Unconcious Mutterings -- Week 246

4 hours, 53 minutes ago

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Las Vegas :: Sin City

  2. Linus :: Pauling

  3. Struck :: blow

  4. Movie :: theater

  5. Anxious :: squirrelly

  6. Bandit :: Fritos

  7. Picks :: lock

  8. Lasso :: lariat

  9. Dinner :: date

  10. Bargain :: Basement

Click the link to play along.

MEME: Saturday Six - Episode 183




This week, the ayes have it. Make that, the eyes.

But before we begin with the spooky questions, it was BookGal of “Books, Memes and Musings” who was first to play last week. Congratulations, BookGal!

Here are this week’s “Saturday Six” questions. Either answer the questions in a comment here, or put the answers in an entry on your journal…but either way, leave a link to your journal so that everyone else can visit! To be counted as “first to play,” you must be the first player to either answer the questions in a comment or to provide a complete link to the specific entry in your journal in which you answer the questions. A link to your journal in general cannot count. Enjoy!

1. When speaking to someone in person, how often do you look them directly in the eye? I make a concious effort to do that, so I suppose my answer would be “frequently.”

2. How likely are you to notice another person’s eye color? I may notice, but I rarely note it (remember it) unless they are out of the norm – say an ethereal, piercing blue iris, for instance.

3. What color eyes does your closest friend have? Brown.

4. Take the quiz: What do your eyes reveal about you? Stupid quiz coming on, I can feel it. Pre-determined by genetics, there's nothing that my eye color will reveal, other than a combination of my mother's blue eyes with my father's hazel eyes. Besides, my eyes used to be hazel – since my heart surgery, they've been brown. Now what does THAT tell you?



What do your eyes reveal about you?(PICS!)Updated
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Anger

Your eyes reveal anger, you are likely to blow up over things and over-react. You tend to assume the worst and if it ends up being for the best then well someone else got screwed. I'd advise you to try and find the happier side of things and to remember there is good in this awful world.

Anger




83%



Mysterious




75%


Eyes full of Pain




67%


Passion




33%


Diamond Eyes




25%



5. If you had the chance to permanently change the color of your eyes, and would never be able to change it back to your original color, would you change it? If so, from what color to what color? Maybe. Light blue – less likely to get sunburned from snow and sea exposure.

6. If you were a candidate for Lasik® eye surgery, do you think you’d have the guts to go through with eye surgery? I am and no, I haven't so far. I hate the thought of anyone messing with my eyes unless there's a medical necessity. Vanity doesn't fit the bill...



Saturday, October 20, 2007

Dumbledore is Gay!



The world's Harry Potter fandom is atwitter with the news released last night that J.K. Rowling, author of the second most famous book series, considers Dumbledore, the central father-figure wizard and headmaster, to be gay. She confirmed her opinion last night while kicking off her US tour at Carnegie Hall in New York City, according to a Reuters news story posted at the washingtonpostonline.com site.


"Rowling said she had read through a script for the movie adaptation of the sixth book in the series, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and corrected a passage in which Dumbledore was reminiscing about past loves by crossing it out and scrawling "Dumbledore is gay" over it.

"Rowling, a mother of three, is now estimated to be worth $1.12 billion, making her the first dollar-billionaire author.

""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" -- the seventh and final book in the boy wizard series -- became the fastest-selling book in history when it was released in July.

"More than 11 million copies were sold in the first 24 hours in the United States and Britain."

Aside from all the anti-gay bashing and jokes that'll ensue, the most interesting line in the story for me was the one detailing her net worth. Pretty good for a woman who couldn't find a publisher for her first book...


Sabbat Day Humor - Feet of Clay

Courtesy of this morning's email:

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "I've been needing a lawn mower. How much do you want for it?" asked the preacher.

"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bike," said the boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and after riding the bike around a little while, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."

The preacher took the mower and began to try to crank it. Pulling on the cord a few times with no response from the mower, the preacher called the little boy over, "I can't get this mower to start."

The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."

The preacher said to the little boy, "I am a minister, and I cannot cuss. It has been so long since I have been saved that I do not even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, as he rode off, "Just keep pullin' on that cord. It'll come back to ya."

Friday, October 19, 2007

MEME: Friday Fill-In #42



Mememistress Janet explains this week's changes thusly, “My friend Megan originally came up with the Friday Fill-Ins; her life has gotten too hectic for her to continue, so I agreed to take over. Now the Friday Fill-Ins has a home of its own, designed by the spectacularly talented Heather over at Goofy Girl Designs. She nicely incorporated one of my photos into the header and even included a button for you to grab and use on your blog...see it? Do you like?”

Here we go!

1. October _sorrows_.
2. _George Bush _ doesn't scare me! (Dick Cheney does, though.)
3. Haunted houses _are passè_.
4. My favorite scary movie is _Nosferatu_ because _he just scares the willies out of me_.
5. _Fuck_ me. (A plaintive wail.)
6. It was a dark and stormy night _but sunny weather was in the following day's forecast_.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _rain tonight_, tomorrow my plans include _laundry and chores_ and Sunday, I want to _watch the race_!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

MEME Magic: Which Book Am I?




You're A People's History of the United States!

by Howard Zinn

After years of listening to other peoples' lies, you decided you've
had enough. Now you're out to tell it like it is, with all the gory details and nothing
left out. Instead of respecting leaders, you want to know what the common people have to
offer. But this revolution still has a long way to go, and you're not against making a
little profit while you wait. Honesty is your best policy.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Found this over at Tundra Medicine Dreams. She's a great read ... give her a try.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

MEME: Wednesday Mind Hump - Brain Cells Redux


Intrepid mememeister, RFDuck, is really stretching his neurons these days. Must be that new course he's taking at the free university -- “Brain Surgery For Fun And Profit, or, How to become a serial killer in three easy steps (Stalk, Kill, Repeat).

Hello everyone! Today is Brain Cell Reduction Day for the Mind Hump.

1. What is your favorite brain cell-reducing TV show?
House – it just fries those
ganglions by the thousands, trying to keep up with the plot twists and fun.
2. What is your favorite brain cell-reducing website?
Boing, Boing does a pretty good job of frying my brain, particularly if taken in large doses.
3. What is your favorite brain cell-reducing music?
Runrig, a Scottish Celtic Rock/Fusion band.




(From Wikipedia: Run rig, or runrig, is the name for a type of arable cultivation practised in northern and western Great Britain, especially Scotland. The name refers to alternating "runs" (furrows) and "rigs" (ridges). It continued into the 20th century in the Hebrides. In Ireland, a similar system was called rundale.)


Monday, October 15, 2007



To my favorite wood turner:

Happy Birthday. Martha!



(Hi, Jerry!) Swanson

R.I.P. Monday Madness

Rest In Peace
It's seems to be semi-official. A month has passed without a posting to the Monday Madness site. I guess it's over. It was a good run, while it lasted. Mistress Otto's Pizza Palace and Massage Parlor of Doom is no more. Gone to that big pie in the sky, where every day is "Yes, Mistress. Three bags full, Mistress."

Otto, we'll miss you.

MEME: Monday Music Mambo - Stuff It!


RFDUCK been hitting too many taco stands lately, to wit: “Hola amigos! Ready for another Mambo? Today is Grouch Day. Try not to be too grouchy as you name your . . .

Top five grouchiest musicians.”

I haven't a clue. My head hurts – I don't want to think. I really don't follow musicians that closely. Bah Humbug...

Bob Dylan was very grouchy for awhile when he thought he was a born-again Christian (no small feat for a Jew – no wonder he was grouchy!)

Ted Nugent is a very grouchy guy if'n he hasn't had a cuppa coffee and a cousin to butt-fuck in the morning.

Leonard Cohen has been grouchy ever since his manager made off with his entire nestegg and left him without any income at all. Frankly, if it had been me, I'd be hunting the bastard down still.

Brian Wilson has been a grouch most of his adult life. Being addicted to cocaine does that.

Finally, Danny Bonaduce has been a grouch since he realized he has no talent and never did.

There's your list, Rfduck. Stuff it up your cloaca!


MEME: Sunday Seven - Episode 111

Hey! That title rhymes!

Anyway, we all have them…that one place in the house — usually a drawer — where those miscellaneous items that you can’t find a better place for always end up. That’s the topic of this week’s question!

Before first, Otowi, of “Otowi,” was first to play last week. Congratulations!

On to this week’s question!

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:
Name seven items in your “junk drawer.”

  1. Cheesecloth

  2. Warranty info for kitchen appliances, coupons, misc. instruction sheets

  3. corks

  4. kerosene storm lamp wicks

  5. corn cob holders

  6. a very dead Eveready Zinc storage battery

  7. a dead analog Nokia 918 cellular tracphone

Click the link – do your thing. (P-ew! LexyCat just laid a turd bomb in the litter box three rooms away so vile, it simply astounds me that such an evil odor could emanate from such a tiny cat!”)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

MEME: Unconcious Mutterings - Week 245

Week 245

I say ... and you think ... ?

  1. Illicit :: liaisons
  2. Go :: Team!
  3. Jacket :: Blazer
  4. Blow :: cocaine
  5. Coach :: badly
  6. Effort :: maximal
  7. Leadership :: Ineffective
  8. Snore :: Obstructive Sleep Apnea
  9. Fearless :: Fosdick
  10. Network :: Sniffer
Do the clickety thing on the title above to get a clean copy of the word list for your own use.