Meme: Five Critter Questions

 

Critter Questions

In Weblogs, Weirdness

Hank Fox has a zoological meme to share: answer the Five Critter Questions. What animal cartoon character would you most like to be real? If every species had a "were" form (like werewolves), what type of critter would you least mind being bitten by? If your dog or cat (living or long-gone) were to suddenly gain human intelligence, what would you most like to say to him or her? Give the animal's name and breed. If it were scientifically proven that animals had feelings and a sense of self just like humans, what animal-derived food would you STILL be reluctant to give up? If you died while camping alone in the wilderness, would you rather your body be recovered and buried in a cemetery, or remain undiscovered and be eaten by wild animals?

1. Balto, of "All Dogs Go To Heaven" fame - he had a good heart.

2. More a case of 'least minding being this were creature' I'd like to be a WereOwl. A Great Horned Owl, with a reall kewl punk rock Mowhawk and tufts over my ears -- that's the ticket.

3. If my first German Shepherd Dog, Raj Kashim Lobo, Kashi for short, were to suddenly gain vocal and communications abilities equal to a human, I'd have two thoughts to convey. The first would be my sorrow for not having sufficient strength to put him down sooner, before his hip dysplasia had become totally disabling. Secondly, I'd express my profound sorrow that he'd been reduced to the communication skills of a mere human.

4. Meat, in all it's forms. I am a predator. It is my function to eat weaker, slower, stupider animals, regardless of whether they are self-aware or may experience pain, loss, etc. Just because you learn your prey has more empathic abilities than first thought doesn't mean you stop preying on them, now does it? Surely the shark couldn't give a rat's ass whether I feel pain or not. Why should I?

5. I think I'd prefer to be consumed by the fauna and flora first, then have my remains found by accident, leading to a real-life episode of CSI - my widow could use the residuals...

Be sure to leave a link to your answers in the comments and over at Pharyngula, too. I really enjoyed thinking about this one :)