Weekend Assignment #72: Dessert Druthers

Weekend Assignment #72: The Ultimate Battle

John Scalzi, the peripatetic world traveler who hangs out at Philadelphia International Airport for 13 hours instead of taking a cab in town to see the Liberty Bell and Constitution Hall, poses a question each week and demands answers from his minions. Being good automatons, we answer. Balance is achieved; equilibrium maintained. And don't forget to leave a link to your answers in the comments over at John's journal. That is all - on with the show:

Normally with the Weekend Assignment, I try to make assignments that bring us together -- assignments we can all share in with love and comity. But today, I want to use the Weekend Assignment as a platform to discuss one of the great divides in American culture -- a divide so wide that it tears at our national fabric and threatens to pit brother against sister, parents against children, husbands against wives. I am talking, of course, about the debate about which is better: cake or pie. Weekend Assignment #72: Which is better -- cake or pie? Explain your reasoning. Will you choose the moist sponginess and frosting-topped goodness of cake? Or will you side with those flaky crust-adoring, fruit-filling fanatics of the pie nation? You must choose one -- and only one! No trying to suggest that Boston Creme Pie is really kind of like a cake, or how cheesecake is actually not unlike a pie. Take a stand! Be true to your pastry orientation! Extra Credit: Having chosen cake or pie, now admit your favorite variety of the dessert you did not choose. So if you chose cake, tell us your favorite pie. Prefer pie? Tell us your favorite cake. Dear John, Another week has sped by, leaving your humble correspondent in the dust. Life gets like that as you grow older. One week you're on the Merry-Go-Round, reaching for the brass ring. Next week, it's through your nose and your being lead to slaughter. But in between, there's a whole lot of living going on. I don't know what witch doctor, shaman or neo-con mystic hit you with her “fabulous femur of fate” upside your temple, but you are exhibiting definite signs of brain trauma. Cake versus pie. Gimme a break! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT PIE IS THE CLEAR FAVORITE! I thought I raised you better, boy. How come you got a case of the dumbass, asking such foolish questions, I'll never know. Something off in that whiskey you were drinking last weekend? I did teach you to stick to single malt, now didn't I? Pies. Crisp, flaky fragrant crust, redolent of lard and beef tallow, browned to perfection. Sweet, bubbly fruit syrup surrounding Nature's greatest gift, the cherry. Can there possibly be a more wonderful aroma? Not on your life. Although, I'll admit to a fondness for a sweet yellow cake with a chocolate icing for birthdays – but only if cherry cheesecake or cherry pie is unobtainable. Take your women out to the fair this weekend and get them some bubbly fruit pies. Who knows? You might get lucky and discover that there's someone other than your wife who can captivate your palate (yes, I AM referring to the baker and his skills at making pie. Get your mind out of the gutter, buster). Have a berry, berry good weekend... Grins and giggles, wil