How Can I Miss You (When You Won't Go Away)
By Dan Hicks
I've talked to your mother and I've talked to your dad,
They say they've tried but it's all in vain.
I've begged and I've pleaded, I even got mad,
Now we must face it, you give me a pain.
How can I miss you when you won't go away?
I keep telling you day after day,
But you won't listen, you always stay and stay,
How can I miss you when you won't go away?
Your never-ending presence really cramps my style,
I dream that it won't always be the same.
At first I was attracted, but after a while,
Have you ever heard of a "hard to get me?"
It's been a tough couple of weeks for John Scalzi, AOL's “Blog-Father.” Through no fault of his own, he's become the magnet for the ire of all disgruntled AOL Journalers incensed by the imposition of banner advertising on their paid journals. Despite it all, he's kept up a chipper countenance. I'd take my hat off to him, but then my bald spot would freeze solid...
This week, John was heard to mutter while rolling the dough out for his pecan pie. “I figure most of us are going to be logy and stuffed full of food this weekend, so I'm going to give you all an easy Weekend Assignment:
Weekend Assignment #87: Answer one or more of the following musical conundrums:
1. Who let the dogs out?
(Yes, you can have silly answers. In fact, I encourage them!)
Extra Credit: Pose your own musical question.”
Your turn: Answer one of the questions above in your own blog or journal and go to John's AOL-Journal, By The Way, to leave a link. Between us, we shall answer the great musical questions of all time. And what a relief that will be!
I'm glad to hear you received the basket of chestnuts, apples and maple syrup in time for your feast. Nothing like roasting one's chestnuts over the open fire of customer ire, is there? I do hope Ms. Athena didn't find the maple syrup “too sweet,” a common complaint by children when first encountering the “real thing.” They soon get over it and develop the discerning little palates their yuppie parents demand...
I'm going to have to make quick work of the Weekend Assignment this week. Unlike most Yanks¹, we'll be giving thanks and eating roast bird and porcine haunch a la glace on Friday evening. Seems SWMBO² loves that holiday overtime money they pay for working on the three recognized holidays her skin flintish company recognizes: Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. No, such stalwarts as Independence Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Veteran's Day, Martin Luther King Day, Columbus Day, Presidents Day – none of those are “holidays” for the purpose of compensation extrordinaire. Forget about such state celebrations like Patriot's Day – not even on the radar. Parsimonious bastards!
Particularly apropos is questionette numero uno, “Who Let The Dogs Out.” Instead of just Willow the Wonder Dog, we have two additional canines in residence. Tucker and Sadie
are here for the weekend while their people spend the holidays with their family up in Canada. I'm an ogre in the eyes of these two – I put them out in the kennel this morning despite the snow and rain, just because I wanted to get a few hours of sleep. It appears that neither has ever spent a whole day outdoors, haven't a clue as to what snow is and, in the case of Sadie, haven't enough sense to get in out of the rain! She must be part turkey! How appropriate, eh? A turkey for T-day.
Anyway, that answers the question. It was intentional. Isn't that amazing?
Now, in the “extra credit” category, I think that old favorite by Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks, “How Can I Miss You (If You Won't Go Away)?” fills the bill nicely. And also covers how I'm feeling about these two spoiled, needy canine guests we're hosting this weekend.
My love to your lovely ladies. Have a great Thanksgiving weekend. Look out for all the lunatic shoppers and their pell mell search for the best bargain. You'll be wishing for my hood-mounted laser cannon if you don't -- And So It Goes...
¹ “Yanks” are legal residents of the United States of America, as opposed to “Americans” which may be from any of the countries on the continents of North, Central and South America.
² Follow along folks – She Who Must Be Obeyed, ie. the ol' ball and chain, my wife. For historical origin, see “Rumpole of the Bailey.”