Friday, December 29, 2006

Punny Thoughts For The New Year

Via the Cincinatti Faculty Club newsletter, the Summer 2003 Club Crier, comes these punny thoughts for the New Year:

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired. (Well spoken.)

A will is a dead giveaway. (Well of corpse!)

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. (Don’t egg me on.)

If you don’t pay your exorcists you may get repossessed. (Not a ghost of a chance.)

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

A lot of money is tainted. (It taint yours and it taint mine!)

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat. (Can’t keep those oldies in toe?)

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. (Sew it seams.)

Acupuncture is a jab well done. (What's the point?)

He had a photographic memory that was never developed. (But a picture of health.)

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. (I’ve heard that yolk before.)

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