Each week, John Scalzi, reknowned author of the "Book of the Dumb" series and paid progenitor of the AOL Journals Community offers up a meme to trigger the creative juices. You can get an unexpurgited copy of the assignment at his AOL Journal, By the Way. Leave a link to your response in the comments on his journal. Enjoy!
Weekend Assignment #49: Congratulations! You've become famous enough to be courted for product endorsements and/or charitable cause spokespersonhood.
Which product or charity would you personally endorse?
Incidentally, while the idea here would be a chance to highlight a product/charity you enjoy or believe in, it's perfectly acceptable for the purposes of this Weekend Assignment to make an endorsement purely for the cash. So if you want to go in that direction, knock yourself out (note: the product has to be legal; the charity has to be an actual one).
Extra Credit: A picture of yourself with your beloved product, looking perhaps a little too enthusiastic (i.e., ham it up)
Dear John,
It's been a rough week around La Casita de Los Locos y Perdidos, let me tell you. Mother Nature dealt us a backhanded compliment by dumping another foot of snow on us on Tuesday. Driving the wife to work at 5:00 AM before the plows have gotten out and started clearing things was a trip. Actually, more of a slip, if you know what I mean. The rate of snowfall was a little over four inches an hour when we first started out, so the ten minute trip to town accumulated beaucoup snow, sleet and ice on the windshield and the wipers. Thankfully, the rate slowed to a more sedate level for much of the day or we'd have had lots more snow than a mere foot.
More of the cold and white stuff is forecast for the coming week, so I am enjoying this brief respite between storms to get some laundry done and hung out. Who knows, it might even "dry" before the next major snow storm. Of course, nothing really dries at this time of year. It first freezes, then sublimates. The end result is the same, though. Just takes about three times as long.
I do hope the power was restored in time to save Rex and Ghlaghghee from a fate that no cat would willingly suffer. Surely you had a box or two of el cheapo macaroni and cheese dinner set aside for such emergencies... Lucifer and Willow were not threatened by threats of such a fate as the good men and women of the hydroelectric company kept the lights lit for the duration. The worst I've ever been through was a week-long outage. Supplies sufficient to carry us through such an incident are on hand for all except the animals as they also figure in to the survival plan. Regardless, that was a wonderful photo of Athena hamming it up. The fur coat was a particularly nice touch...
I have been thinking about what product or products I might be willing to endorse in order to raise funds for a charitable institution. It's not like I have significant fame or such like that fellow who amputated his arm in order to return to civilization from a hike gone bad. He could endorse his Swiss Army Knife®. Nor am I a famous fashion model, so Victoria's Secrets isn't interested in me parading around in their newest line of bras and panties. Nor am I, for that matter.
I mean, John, I tear off those silly little tags they sew into shirt pockets. There are no alligators grazing my nipples on my polo shirts. Logoized T-shirts end up as underwear - I prefer plain T's when out in public. In other words, my friend, I am no one's willing shill.
My winter ball cap (worn as God intended, with the bill shading the sun from my steely gray eyes, except when shooting photographs) bears the logo of the New Balance Shoe Company, a formerly local manufacturer, only because I couldn't find a plain wool fleece ball cap for a similar price. I can't help it that my nylon and fleece jackets bear embroidered logos of their respective manufacturers; but I did see to it that I chose ones which had the embroidery in the same color thread as the jacket so it isn't visible without looking really hard at it to read the company name.
But overall, the one that has pissed me off the most often with it's persistent efforts to make me the unwilling shill for their products is Levi Strauss & Company. If I want to wear button fly jeans (my favorite for hunting humans and other varmints -- no zipper noise) then I have to advertise the freaking company from pocket tags, zipper fobs, button covers as well as those annoying leather labels over the right cheek of my ass, displaying my wide load characteristics for the whole world to read. So they are the most deserving of the royal screwing that comes with celebrity endorsements.
Now, who should benefit? Ironic as it may seem, Literacy Volunteers of America is my chosen charity. Lord knows, these advertisers would be up the brown creek sans paddle if their clientele was unable to read, now wouldn't they? But it seems they no longer exist -- they have become ProLiteracy America
Different name, same aim.So there you have my choices - I'll shill for ProLiteracy America, endorsing Levi Strauss's 501 Jeans. Now, to get you a photo of me in my 501s is a problem - Levi's hasn't sent me any in a while and I long ago outgrew my last pair...
And so it goes in the land of lobster and logging, where all the women are doughy and all the children are on Ritalin.
Grins and giggles,
wil
P.S. Almost forgot -- give Krissy and Athena a big kiss or three from us.
P.P.S. Here's a photo of the last pair of 501s I owned ... they were experimental, navy blue and I loved them. They were perfect for work, the wide waistband allowed for easy carry of a weapon at the small of the back in spite of a heavy belt with no unsightly bulges (other than my gut). The boot cut legs were perfect over my work boots while the built-in crease allowed me to appear dressed up for meetings.
[ Photo to come after daylight ]
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