I was all set to write a scathing riposte to all the bleeding heart liberals with their "Earth Day" crap, but moxie: It's earth day!! is better than what I had, so into the Crap-o-matic with my draft. Just read his.
- As every good conservative knows, Earth Day begins at sundown the day before. But because I have so much to do (capitalism takes work, liberals), four days ago my gay houseboy turned on every incandescent light bulb in the house. Anyone that turns them off before the bulbs burn out gets one less Halliburton stock certificate in their Christmas stocking.
- Also, put brand new batteries in my Dick Cheney “Shock and awe” vibrator. Threw the old ones in the street even though they’re still good."